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第35章 爱在不言不语中 (6)

"When you read them you will share the longing and passion a good man feels for a good woman, and you will also discover the empowering enchantment they will give you. You will also understand the fears and tears of war. And you will realize the differences between right and wrong. You will learn to trust the people you love and keep your distance from those you mistrust. You will learn about mature friendships and how true love can become the core of your life.

"I have been fortunate, Jeffrey. I loved a wonderful man. And he loved me. While his love is now a memory, it is also a real dream that never ends. Love is like a beautiful photograph you store in an album. You can enjoy its beauty each time you stare at its wonderment. It stops time. And, it makes you young again—forever! Grandpa Edwin was a soldier, a professional Army officer who chased Pancho Villa back to Mexico with John J. Pershing. He also served under General Pershing in the trenches in France during World War I. To understand your grandfather' s soul, read his loving letters to me. You' ll learn how romantic and beautiful a real man can be. To truly understand Grandpa' s character, read the personal note Jack Pershing wrote me when he heard that Edwin was killed in action.

"Jeffrey, I said this packet of notes was priceless and valuable. I' ve just shown you how priceless his love notes are. Please learn from them. Then find the right girl to love and love her ardently. This love will enrich both your lives and make you both happier.

"As for being valuable, save the envelopes. An appraiser at Sotheby' s said the old stamps are worth far more than the rest of my estate. And, the personal handwritten note from General Pershing is even more valuable than the stamps. Have a loving, bountiful life. God bless you."

"I love you, Grandma Elsie."

外祖母埃尔西去世时,我只有17岁。她是我最后一位在世的祖辈,而我是她唯一的外孙。直到律师宣读她的遗嘱时,我才真正体会到她对我的爱有多深。那一刻,我终生难忘——从那天起,我成了城里最富有的男孩子。

在外祖母的律师办公室里,我和妈妈、爸爸、索菲姨妈以及比尔姨夫坐在一张小会议桌旁。她想让她的女儿女婿们分享她留下来的哪怕是一点点财富——有一小笔保险单收益、一块刻有浮雕的宝石古、几只镯子、一些人造珠宝和她的结婚戒指。她还把房契、银行存款,以及在当地天然气与电力公司的一点儿股份和出席外祖父埃德温的军事葬礼时获赠的一面美国国旗留给了他们。

我们起身准备离开时,律师说:“还有三样东西。”他从公文包里拿出一个小首饰盒,一封信,一沓用纸巾仔细包着、用褪了色的粉红缎带扎着的信封。“杰弗里,你外祖母把她的订婚钻戒留给你了,希望你早日派上用场。”在场的每个人都笑了起来。

“杰弗里,这些也是给你的,”他说,“也许它是所有遗物中最珍贵的—— 一封信和一沓情书。

信是这样写的:“亲爱的杰弗里,我把最珍贵的财富留给你——我的回忆。这是你外祖父不在我身边时写给我的信。请你读一下这些信,它们是极为珍贵的无价之宝——是一本人生指南,它会教你如何去爱一个女人,如何去理解他人,如何自尊、自爱和拥有健全的人格。

“读完之后,你就会体会到一个杰出的男人对一个好女人深切的思念之情。同时你也会发现一种魅力,它能赋予你力量。你会了解战争给人们带来的恐惧和眼泪,还会学到如何明辨是非。你将学会去信赖所爱的人,远离不值得信任的人。你还将学到何谓成熟的友谊,明白真爱怎样才能成为你生命的核心。

“我确实很幸运,杰弗里。我爱上了一个了不起的人。他也爱我。虽然如今他的爱已成追忆,但它是一个真实的梦,永远不会终结。爱就像你珍藏在相册中的一张完美的照片,每次你凝视它,都能感受到它的精彩和美好。它令时光永驻,并会让你再度年轻——永远年轻!你的外祖父埃德温是一名职业军官。他与约翰·J. 潘兴对潘乔·比亚穷追猛赶,迫使他回到墨西哥。‘一战’期间,他又随潘兴将军转战法国。读了你外祖父给我的情书后,你就会了解他的为人。你会看到一个真正的男人是多么浪漫,他的灵魂是多么美丽。如果你想真正了解他的性格,可以读一读杰克·潘兴写给我的私人信件,那是他得知你外祖父在执行任务中牺牲后写给我的。

“杰弗里,我说过这沓信是非常珍贵的无价之宝。我刚才给你看的这些情书的珍贵之处,你要认真体会和学习,然后找一个合适的女孩,好好地爱她。这种爱将丰富你们彼此的人生,也会让你们更加幸福。

“信件如此珍贵,你一定要好好保管。苏富比的一位鉴定家说,把我的其他财产加起来,也远不如这些旧邮票值钱。并且,潘兴将军的亲笔信比邮票还要珍贵。愿你的人生充满爱和宽容!愿上帝保佑你!”

“我爱你,埃尔西祖母。”

爱你千遍也不厌倦

Precious Legacy

瑞·古德 / Ron Gold

My son is growing up, and it scares me. Terrifies me, actually. Girls. Driving. Alcohol. Drugs. How can I protect him from all of these things?

When he was little, I was one of those regimented, omnipresent mothers. Even when it was hard or I was tired, I addressed even the most seemingly insignificant experience if I thought it dealt with something fundamental. "I' m doing this for the long haul. " I' d tell myself and my critics. Now, I have to hope my instincts were right.

My chances for guidance dwindle daily, encumbered by the ever-present and often more-favored peers. I fear that my influence will be replaced by someone wearing a trench coat or a short skirt. Still, I repeat the basics to him when he doesn' t want to listen and address the tough issues head on. And I hold on to my belief that for the "formative" years, I demanded his full attention and maybe that unrelenting consistency will save us both.

I know that I haven' t lost him completely, not yet anyway, because of the look he gave me the other day when I dropped him off at school.

"I love you. " I said, as always, as he grabbed his backpack. Usually, he' ll say, "I love you, too, bye. " but he didn' t, and I was OK with it. He' s 14, what do I expect? Then he looked straight at me. "I love you. " he said quietly. He looked right into my eyes to see that I heard him.

The girls who were passing by were out of earshot by then. His words and that look happened in a hundredth of a second, but the whole universe became still and I could' t hear a thing. In that sliver of a moment, his entire lifetime blazed through my mind. I know him better than anyone on this planet. I can hear what he' s not saying and know what he means: "I love you, too, Mom, and I hope you know that. I wanted to say it back to you when you said it, but there were some people walking by and they might have heard me and then teased me, but I sure didn' t mean to hurt your feelings, and I didn' t want you to leave without hearing it, because I really do love you. Please understand."

I do understand. I understand that growing up is tough, and I wouldn' t be a teenager again even if I could. I understand that I can' t be with him every second or protect him from the horrors that lurk outside my grasp. I understand how important it is for him to know that I' m here, that he can always count on me, and so I tell him this over and over, even when he says, "Mom, you already told me a thousand times."

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