But I noticed it. That feeling of emptiness, into which I was pouring cocktails out of boredom, was filling up instead with a purpose: to live a full life with an awareness and an appreciation of other people. I do not pretend for a second that I have suddenly become a paragon. My faults are still legion and I know them.
But it seems to me better to have a little religion and practice it than think piously and do nothing about it. I feel better adjusted, more mature than I ever have in my life before. I have no fear. I say this not boastfully but in all humility. The actual application of Christian principles has changed my life.
大约15年前的一天,我在面对自己时,突然觉得自己的生活很空虚。也许这是朋友和同事所无法理解的。按照公认的标准来看,我是一位“成功者”。 我领导着一个生意不错的制造公司,是社交界及商界中的“活跃分子”。然而,对我而言,这些并没有太大的意义。我始终都在圈内转来转去。我努力工作,尽情享乐,但很快就发现自己饮酒过度。虽然我并不准备加入嗜酒者互诫协会,但说真的,我不得不承认自己喝了太多的酒。也许,这是因为我的生活实在太无聊了。
于是,我开始想着去做点什么。突然,我想到或许是由于自己将过多的精力投入工作,却付出了失去最基本精神生活价值的代价。我顿时明白,自己一向都很自私,我只对别人对我意味着什么,作为我的生意伙伴或员工会为我带来什么价值感兴趣,而不在意我对他们而言意义何在。记得孩提时,母亲常告诉我,一位虔诚信徒的人生价值在于他拥有精神的寄托。当时,她还送我去主日学校学习,并鼓励我参加教堂唱诗班。我努力在脑海中回想着《圣经》中的金箴和基督教义中一些最重要的信条。于是,我开始对基督教青年会的工作感兴趣了。
凑巧的是,那时我们与工厂工会之间发生了一些尖锐的摩擦。后来的一天,我突然想到:他们真正的观点是什么,为什么会这样?我开始明白他们为何会对我们产生怀疑,并常持敌对态度,于是我决定采取相应的行动。
在处理与员工间的问题时,我们试图将基督教的信条应用甚至照搬到其中,比如说,将金箴中的某些忠告付诸于行动。当人们相信我们的诚意,自然就会作出良好的回应。这种做法痛苦却有所回报。我所说的回报并非金钱,而是人的尊严,是使一个人为他的工作与公司而骄傲。他明白,自己不再是一个微不足道的小齿轮,而是公司中生动鲜活的一分子,公司不会在乎他属于哪个教会,或是肤色深浅。
然而,我可以肯定地说,我和我的人生观正是因这种态度而发生了转变。也许,对于我的变化,多数朋友并没有发现。
但是,我自己注意到了。曾经用酗酒来排遣的空虚感,如今已不复存在,取而代之的是明确的目标:充实地生活,关注并尊重他人的存在。我并不装做自己立刻成为一个典范,我明白自己依然缺点重重。
但是,在我看来,与其不予行动地虔诚思考,不如拥有一点宗教信仰并将其付诸实践。我感觉,相比以前,自己得到了更好的调整,也更为成熟了。我无所畏惧。我之所以这么说,并非吹嘘,而是满怀谦卑。我的生活也因将基督教信条付诸于实践而发生了改变。
痛苦的根源
The Cobbler And the Banker
拉·封丹 / La Fontaine
A cobbler passed his time in singing from morning till night; it was wonderful to see, wonderful to hear him; he was more contented in making shoes than was any of the seven sages. His neighbor, on the contrary, who was rolling in wealth, sung but little, and sleepless. He was a banker; when by chance he fell into a doze at day-break, the cobbler1 awoke him with his song. The banker complained sadly that Providence had not made sleep a saleable2 commodity, like edibles or drinkables. Having at length sent for the songster, he said to him, "How much a year do you earn, Master Gregory?"
"How much a year, sir?" said the merry cobbler laughing, "I never reckon in that way, living as I do from one day to another; somehow I manage to reach the end of the year; each day brings its meal."
"Well then! How much a day do you earn, my friend?"
"Sometimes more, sometimes less; but the worst of it is, and, without that our earnings would be very tolerable, a number of days occur in the year on which we are forbidden to work; and the curate, moreover, is constantly adding some new saint to the list."
The banker, laughing at his simplicity, said, "In the future I shall place you above want. Take this hundred crowns, preserve them carefully, and make use of them in time of need."
The cobbler fancied3 he beheld all the wealth which the earth had produced in the past century for the use of mankind. Returning home, he buried his money and his happiness at the same time. No more singing; he lost his voice, the moment he acquired that which is the source of so much grief. Sleep quitted his dwelling; and cares, suspicions, and false alarms took its place. All day, his eye wandered in the direction of the treasure; and at night, if some stray cat made a noise, the cat was robbing4 him. At length the poor man ran to the house of his rich neighbor; "Give me back," said he, "sleep and my voice, and take your hundred crowns."
一个皮匠以歌自娱,在歌声中度过每一天。每一个见到他,或听到他歌声的人都甚感愉快。他安于自己的制鞋工作,甚至觉得比做希腊七圣还满足。他的邻居是一个家财万贯的银行家,与他相反,银行家很少唱歌,睡眠也不好,偶尔在天快亮时才打个盹,又被皮匠的歌声吵醒了。他痛苦地抱怨上帝没有把睡眠也变成商品,他多想睡眠也像食品和饮料那样能随意购买啊。最后,银行家把这个歌唱者请过来,对他说:“格雷戈里师傅,您一年能赚多少钱啊?”
“一年赚多少钱吗,先生?”快乐的皮匠笑道,“我可从来没有统计过,我天天如此,每天挣足三餐,总能撑到年底。”
“啊,朋友,那么,你一天挣多少呢?”
“有时候挣得多,有时又少点,我们的收入还可以。最难过的日子就是每年总有些时候不让我们工作,而牧师又常吸纳新的圣徒。”
银行家被皮匠的直率逗乐了,他说:“今后,我将满足你的一切需求,你把这一百枚钱拿去存好,需要时就拿出来用。”
皮匠觉得自己好像看到了几个世纪以来,大地为人类所需创造出来的所有财富。他回家后,把这笔钱埋了起来,同时,也埋葬了他的欢乐。从此,他不再唱歌。在他得到钱这个痛苦根源的那刻起,就失去了歌喉。担心、怀疑、虚惊让他不能安稳入睡。他的目光整天游移在藏钱的地方。晚上,就是野猫弄出点声响,他也会以为有人来抢他的宝贝。最后,这个可怜的人跑到他富有的邻居那里,“还我睡眠和歌喉吧,把你的一百枚钱币拿回去。”
人生没有终点站
Relish the Moment
罗伯特·J. 黑斯廷斯 / Robert J. Hastings