The final stage of loss is acceptance, which most people come to slowly. This is the stage when you begin to come to terms with what' s happened. Reaching a place of acceptance doesn' t have to mean you agree with the company' s actions—just that you' ve decided to move on with your life.
There is no right or wrong way to experience the stages of loss. Most people move in and out of them over time. For example, you may start sleeping more (or less), eating more (or less), and you may even find yourself remembering other losses. These reactions are normal. They can also serve as a reminder to treat yourself with compassion.
It may be hard to believe at first, but you can ultimately use this experience to your advantage—to find another, perhaps even better job；to strengthen your relationship with your family；and to make some much-needed changes in your life. Here are three essential steps：
Step 1
Get emotional support.
Because it' s easy to feel unsettled and vulnerable, reaching out to others is the key to making a smooth transition. You' ll need people who will listen and provide a safe haven for you to vent, cry, or express your tears and concerns. You can lean on a trusted friend, a fellow coworker in the same situation, or a sibling. In addition, you might want to join an online discussion group(see step 2 below) or a career support group at your church or community center. Your local unemployment offices can provide affordable resources near you.
Have this support in place before you take steps to secure your next position. Too often people bring their anger or bitterness into a job interview only to lose the opportunity and feel even more defeated.
Remember, your spouse and children will be dealing with their own anxiety about your job loss and may not be able to offer you the kind of support you need. You should also avoid turning to people who add to your stress level or criticize you. Instead, surround yourself with those who can make you feel hopeful and confident about this transition.
Don' t go it alone. It takes courage to ask for help, and yet, help may be what you need most to move forward.
You also need to protect your emotional well-being. If you are required to continue working until a specific deadline, avoid long work hours and get out of the office at lunchtime. Stay away from toxic coworkers who constantly complain. Build confidence by doing something you enjoy and do well. One woman I know, an amateur photographer, made note cards using her favorite photos. The positive feedback she received from friends and colleagues gave her renewed confidence.
Step 2
Seek professional guidance.
Getting assistance from a recruiter or career counselor will not only help you assess your experience and improve your skills it also will ensure that you put your best foot forward. Once again, your local unemployment office should have helpful resources.
Check out the career section of your local bookstore. One of my favorite books is What Color is Your Parachute? 2001 by Richard Nelson Bolls. There are great online resource as well. Monster. com offers useful career advice, online success stories, and a variety of message boards—not to mention a large database of open job listings.
If possible, try not to let fear cause you to grab the first new job you' re offered (unless it' s the right one!). Give yourself time to explore different options. And don' t be afraid to look for a short-term "transition position" that will pay the bills while you continue your search.
Step 3
Strengthen family ties.
Meet with family members to openly discuss your feelings. Listen carefully without interrupting one another, and give everyone a turn to speak.
Once you' ve landed a new job, create your own security. Keep your resume up-to-date, stay in touch with recruiters about the job market, and constantly improve yours skills to stay marketable in your field. Although being downsized can turn your life upside down, many people say that it gave them the push they needed to start a new life!
今天，几乎随便拿起一张报纸，你就能看到有关失业的消息。假如你（或者你的家人）不幸成为其中的一员，你或许会感到被击垮了，无所适从，或者干脆惊慌失措。
失业被人们视为最令人忧心的五种生活变化之一。对于那些尝过苦果的人来说，就好像是被剥夺了自己的身份、失去所爱的人那样痛苦。它所造成的焦躁会扰乱你的生活。对经济的来源感到惊慌失措，忐忑不安地去找工作的过程，抑或因为离开了过去的同事而觉得孤独寂寞——这些都没什么好奇怪的。许多被辞退的员工在思考他们原本可以做些什么，以防被炒鱿鱼（即使明显不是他们的错误）。无论你对裁员是早有耳闻还是备感震惊，这些情感都会让你感到迷茫，不知道接下来该如何是好。
在这段时间里，你的家人或许也正在面对他们自己的焦虑和失落，这更加重了家庭的负担。例如，你的爱人或许一直紧密关注你找工作的进展情况。你的孩子或许会因为感受到了家里的压力，开始在学校表现不佳。
失落的第一阶段是拒绝接受痛苦的现实，而且表现得麻木不仁。在这个阶段里，你可能会放弃自我并感到毫无动力可言。拒绝接受惨痛的现实是在精神上进行自我保护的一种方法，然而深陷于这一阶段会出现其他问题。我认识一位妇女，她接到一个通知说自己将在六个月后被解雇。然而直到她要被解雇前的一个星期，她都从未准备简历或是开始在网上找工作。她固执地拒绝接受惨痛的现实，相信会发生奇迹，让她躲过这一灾难。
下一阶段带来的是错综复杂的情感：愤怒、困惑、难过以及焦虑。在这个阶段，你或许会徘徊在各种极端之间。当我的朋友萨曼塔意外地失业时，她在与别人交往中会不时地尖叫、颤抖、啜泣。你的怒气或悲哀的感受可能会持续数分钟、数天或者数周。你更多地是用健康的方式发泄情绪，例如，把你的怒气在健身房发泄出来，或者找一个你信任的朋友分享你的感受——它们就会很快消失。
失落的最后一个阶段就是接受。大多数人进入这一阶段是十分缓慢的。这是你开始对所发生的事泰然处之的阶段。到了接受这一地步，并不一定说明你就同意了公司的政策——仅仅是你已经决定继续你的生活而已。
经历失落的每个阶段并没有对错之分。在时间的流逝中，大多数人有过陷入又走出失落的经历。比如说，你或许睡得多了 （或少了），吃得多了（或少了），你甚至或许会想起其他失落。这些都是正常的反应，它们还会告诉你要善待自己。
起初，这或许令人难以置信。然而，最后你会通过这个经历让自己有所收获——找到另一个，或许是更好的工作；加强你与家人的关系；作出你生活中迫切需要的改变。以下是三个基本步骤。
步骤1
获得情感支持
因为人们很容易感到焦虑和脆弱，所以向他人求助是顺利过渡的关键所在。你需要有人听你倾诉，并为你提供一个发泄、哭泣或表达畏惧和忧虑的安全庇护所。你可以依赖一位值得信任的朋友、一个处境相同的同事或兄弟姐妹。另外，你或许想参与一个在线讨论小组（见下面的步骤2）或一个社区中心的职业援助小组。你们当地的失业办公室可以在附近向你提供力所能及的援助。
在你采取措施获得下一个职位前，一定要得到这种帮助。人们过多地将自己的怒气或痛楚带到面试中，结果只能是让你失去机会，徒增挫败感。
切记，因为你的失业，你的配偶和孩子将独自应付这件事所引起的焦虑，他们可能无法提供你所需要的那种帮助。与此同时，你不应该求助于那些会给你增加压力或指责你的人。与之相反的是，要让自己的周围到处都是那些使你感到对过渡充满希望与自信的人。
不要独自应对。求助也是需要勇气的，不过，也许帮助正是你前进所需要的东西。
你还需要保护你的情绪健康。假如要求你继续工作到一个指定的期限，就要防止长时间工作，在午餐时间远离办公室。避开那些牢骚满腹的同事，他们这些人是有毒害作用的。做一些你喜欢又能做得好的事来培养自信心。我认识一位女性，她是一名业余摄影师，她用自己喜爱的相片来制作记事卡。朋友和同事的积极反馈给了她新的自信心。
步骤2
寻求职业向导
