My Mother the Hellion
佚名 / Anonymous
As a child I always wondered how my mother knew what I was up to. How did she know I had not done my homework, had been smoking (and in my parochial school uniform, too), or had lied about where I had been and with whom? They were such well-constructed and convincing lies. And they had taken me so long to concoct. Now, looking back, the answer is crystal-clear to me. My mother did not have eyes in the back of her head, nor did she have a needie-sharp sixth sense of perception. The plain, unvarnished truth is...my mother was a hellion in her own youth. My grandmother was not alive to share this information with me. My grandfather, chief of police in our small town, never incriminated anyone, including his daughter. I simply know this is the answer. How else could she know what I was thinking, what I had done, and what I planned to do if she had not already trod the same path herself?
Take for example, the time our neighbor’s canoe was stolen from their yard. Actually, “stolen” is too harsh a word. “Borrowed” is more accurate. With the assistance of my cousin we paddled across the river in the dark to participate in a clandestine meeting of our friends. Because of a slight miscalculation of the tides, we were unable to return until almost daybreak.
The canoe was immediately returned to its rightful owners. Okay, they claimed the side was bashed in. I prefer dinged. Stuff happens. My mother said she knew without a doubt I had been involved. I thought she had a lot of crust bandying my name about that way. The perpetrator could have been anyone.
And how about the time she insisted I had been driving her car when she had been away? It certainly was not my fault the gas gauge was down. There could have been a leak. For heaven’s sake, I didn’t even have my license then. Or the dozens of other peccadilloes she laid at my door, like the cozy little get-togethers I had put up. We were scrupulously careful not to leave any traces, yet I was always found out. Parties in the woods, occasional absences from school, fast cars, a glorious weekend in New York City, using false ID and being caught by my-gulp-grandfather.
Okey, I admit there was some truth to that one, but I can explain, honest. Someone once said, “Experience is the best teacher.” This is turning out to be true. How else could I know what my own daughter is up to—the little sneak!
孩提时，我总是奇怪为什么妈妈总能知道我在打什么主意。比如，我没做作业，吸烟（而且身穿教区校服），或撒谎去过哪儿以及和谁在一起，这些她都是怎么知道的？而那些谎言都是我精心编造的，非常令人信服。为了编造这些谎言，我花了很长的时间。如今回想起来，答案已经很明显了。妈妈的后脑勺上并没有长眼睛，也没有无所不知的第六感。而再明白不过的事实就是，她年幼时也是个调皮鬼。外婆在世时，没有告诉我这些。外公虽是我们小镇的警察局长，但也从未控告过任何人，包括他的女儿。但我知道答案就是这样。如果她没有同样的经历，又怎会知道我在想什么，做过什么，打算干什么呢？
比如，有一次，邻居家放在院里的独木舟被偷了。说实话，用“偷”有点太苛刻了，还是用“借”比较准确。在表弟的帮助下，天黑时我们划船过河，去参加朋友的秘密聚会。由于对潮水时间的计算有些误差，我们几乎天亮时才回来。
独木舟马上物归原主了。对了，他们声称船弦被撞坏了。我宁愿受到数落，因为经常会发生这种糟糕的事。妈妈认为，我一定参与了。我想她敢到处嚷嚷，破坏我的名声。不过，谁都有做这种事的嫌疑嘛。
而那次她坚持认为我趁她不在家时开了她的车，这又该怎么说呢？油箱里的油少了确实不是我的错，也许是漏了。算我倒霉，那时我还没有驾照呢。还有其他的一些小过失，她都会算在我的头上，比如我安排的一个惬意的小聚会。我们非常小心谨慎，以免留下任何痕迹，但我还是总被发现。比如，在森林里的晚会，偶尔的逃学，飚车，在纽约过一个愉快的周末，以及用假身份证——噢——不过那次被我外公抓住了。
好吧，我承认最后那件事是有我的错，但我可以诚实地解释。有人曾说：“经验是最好的老师。”确实是真理。不然现在我又怎么会知道自己的女儿在打什么鬼主意呢——这个小捣蛋！
记忆填空
1. They were such well-constructed and convincing . And they had taken me so long to concoct. Now, looking back, the is crystal-clear to me. My mother did not have in the back of her head, nor did she have a needie-sharp sixth sense perception.
2. the assistance of my cousin we paddled across the in the dark to participate in a clandestine of our friends. Because of a slight miscalculation of the tides, we were unable to until almost daybreak.
佳句翻译
1. 妈妈的后脑勺上并没有长眼睛，也没有无所不知的第六感。
2. 如果她没有同样的经历，又怎会知道我在想什么，做过什么，打算干什么呢？
3. 我们非常小心谨慎，以免留下任何痕迹，但我还是总被发现。
短语应用
1. As a child I always wondered how my mother knew what I was up to.
be up to：从事，忙于；胜任；该由……负责
2. For heaven’s sake, I didn’t even have my license then.
for heaven’s sake：看在上帝的份上；上帝保佑
