13.
居然写到了十三章。
任鸣这两个字从此真的彻底淡出了我的视线,直到两年以后,那时我新买了一套长宁区最高档小区的房子,那时房子还相对便宜,办完手续突然想顺路去看完老朋友了,虽然这种衣锦还乡的感觉有点小人得志为人不齿,但人之常情,我也懒得克服。
大楼还是往昔的模样,门口的门卫认真做了访客登记后我又来到了熟悉的办公室。
大家还是很热烈的欢迎了我,我还是坐在上次办手续来时做过的接待客户的沙发座位上,他们围坐在身边,都为我买了房子感到高兴,许经理说,“你买对了,我也去看过,真的很好的,和我现在的房子比较,犹豫了半天,后来要不是那个变电站我真买你那个小区了。。。。。。”大家眼里有着羡慕,但这次又在羡慕的眼神里少了一双呆萌的大眼睛。
又是沉默,我问起任鸣时居然又是沉默。
死寂地沉默。
莫名的恐怖。
有人摇头回了自己的座位。
陈经理从他的座位上起身,走了过来,我旁边剩下的人也都全部回了自己的岗位。
他示意我跟他出去说。
我跟他来到了以前和任鸣他们一起抽烟的地方,陈经理从来不抽烟,他出现在这里多少有些违和感。
“他自杀了,就前不久”
。。。。。。
尽管我已有各种再次被震撼的心里准备也还是呆掉了。
那么年轻,那么胆小软弱,那么小心翼翼的保护自己的人。。。。。。
沉默。。。。。。
“他自杀前一天打了辞职报告,人事处我们这里都批了,很好的一家德国公司,我们虽然有点惋惜但都为他高兴。。。。。。”
陈经理面无表情。。。。。。
“他总算有了点男人的样子。。。。。。”
“我记得他那时眼睛闪着光,我从来没见他那样过,那样的勇气,那样的担当,。。。。。。”
“他热情地拥抱每一个人,说,小杜在就好了。。。。。。”
“Freedom,他说,FREEDOM!!!他大声说”我听着英语不是很好的陈经理极其标准地pronounce了这个词,“FREEDOM!”
我想象着发自他巨大共鸣胸腹的来自外星文明的FREEDOM是何等的气吞山河!
沉默
但“Freedom”在我俩心中默念。
Freedom.
许久。
陈经理接着说,这个女人来了,她找了公司领导,大吵大闹,说我们不负责任,说我们明明知道他脑子有残疾就把他踢出去!
。。。。。。
怎样的一个女人?
。。。。。。
我深深感受到当一个人勇敢地开始承担起自尊的时候被最爱的人疯狂践踏的残忍。
公司撤回同意辞职的决定已经不再重要,他的崩溃是彻彻底底的。
生命就有爱,爱是自由意志用户的枷锁,不能斩断爱就只能斩断生命了。
我仿佛看见他斩断生命的那一刻眼睛闪着光,嘴角挂着微笑。
There's a place I know where we should go
heydiheydihoh
Won' t you take me there your lady fair
heydiheydihoh
There's a brook near-by the grass grows high
heydiheydihoh
Where we both can hide side by side
heydiheydihoh
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
What a world of fun for everyone, holi-holiday
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
Sing a summer song, skip along, holi-holiday
It's a holi-holiday
There's a country fair not far from there
heydiheydihoh
On a carousel the dingdong bell
heydiheydihoh
On the loop di loop we swing and swoop
heydiheydihoh
And what else we'll do is up to you
heydiheydihoh
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
What a world of fun for everyone
holi-holiday
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
Sing a summer song, skip along
holi-holiday
It's a holi-holiday
Well, I'm game
Fun is the thing I'm after
Now let's a'live it up today
Get set for love and laughter
Well, let's go
Time isn't here for wasting
Life is so full of sweet sweet things
I'd like to do some tasting
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
What a world of fun for everyone
holi-holiday
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
Sing a summer song, skip along
holi-holiday
It's a holi-holiday
In the country side we take a ride
heydiheydihoh
Where the stars will shine lots of time
heydiheydihoh
Back of your old car we might get far
heydiheydihoh
In the summer breeze we feel at ease
heydiheydihoh
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
What a world of fun for everyone
holi-holiday
Hooray! Hooray! It's A Holi-Holiday
Sing a summer song, skip along
holi-holiday
It's a holi-holiday
It's a holi-holiday