BY NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE
Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864): The greatest of American novelists. His principal works are "The Scarlet Letter," "The Marble Faun," and "The House of the Seven Gables." Hawthorne also wrote many sketches and tales, and several volumes of stories for children. The best of these are "Grandfather"s Chair," tales from New England history, and "Tanglewood Tales" and "The Wonder Book," two volumes of stories from Greek mythology.
"A Rill from the Town Pump" is one of the sketches in the volume entitled "Twice- Told Tales."(SCENE: The corner of two principal streets1, the Town Pump talking through its nose.)Noon by the north clock! Noon by the east! High noon, too, by these hot sunbeams, which fall, scarcely aslope, upon my head and almost make the water bubble and smoke in the trough under my nose. Truly, we public characters have a tough time of it! And among all the town officers chosen at March meeting, where is he that sustains for a single year the burden of such manifold duties as are imposed upon the town pump?
The title of "town treasurer" is rightfully mine, as guardian of the best treasure that the town has. The overseers of the poor1 Two principal streets: Essex and Washington streets in Hawthorne"s home, Salem, Massachusetts.
ought to make me their chairman, since I provide bountifully for the pauper without expense to him that pays taxes. I am at the head of the fire department and one of the physicians to the board of health. As a keeper of the peace, all water drinkers will confess me equal to the constable. I perform some of the duties of the town clerk by promulgating1 public notices when they are posted on my front.
To speak within bounds, I am the chief person of the municipality2, and exhibit, moreover, an admirable pattern to my brother officers by the cool, steady, upright, downright, and impartial discharge of my business and the constancy with which I stand to my post. Summer or winter, nobody seeks me in vain, for all day long I am seen at the busiest corner, just above the market, stretching out my arms to rich and poor alike, and at night I hold a lantern over my head, both to show where I am and keep people out of the gutters. At this sultry noontide I am cupbearer to the parched populace, for whose benefit an iron goblet is chained to my waist. Like a dramseller on the mall3 at muster-day, I cry aloud to all and sundry4 in my plainest accents and at the very tip-top of my voice.
Here it is, gentlemen! Here is the good liquor! Walk up, walk up, gentlemen! Walk up, walk up! Here is the superior stuff! Here is the unadulterated ale of Father Adam-better than strong beer, or wine of any price; here it is by the hogshead or1Promulgating: publishing; making known.
2Municipadity: a town having local government. 3 Mall: public walk.
4 Sundry: several; all and sundry, all together and each separately.
the single glass, and not a cent to pay! Walk up, gentlemen, walk up, and help yourselves!
It were a pity if all this outcry should draw no customers. Here they come.-A hot day, gentlemen! Quaff and away again, so as to keep yourselves in a nice cool sweat.-You, my friend, will need another cupful to wash the dust out of your throat, if it be as thick there as it is on your cowhide shoes. I see that you have trudged half a score of miles to-day, and like a wise man have passed by the taverns and stopped at the running brooks and well-curbs. Otherwise, betwixt heat without and fire within, you would have been burned to a cinder or melted down to nothing at all, in the fashion of a jellyfish.
