登陆注册
37602300000016

第16章 THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A QUACK(15)

``Gentlemen,'' said the elder person, addressing the patients, ``I called here yesterday, like a fool, to ask who had stolen from me a sum of money which I believed I left in my room on going out in the morning.This doctor here and his spirits contrived to make me suspect my only son.Well, I charged him at once with the crime as soon as I got back home, and what do you think he did? He said, `Father, let us go up-stairs and look for it,' and--''

Here the young man broke in with: ``Come, father; don't worry yourself for nothing'';and then turning, added: ``To cut the thing short, he found the notes under his candle-stick, where he left them on going to bed.

This is all of it.We came here to stop this fellow'' (by which he meant me) ``from carrying a slander further.I advise you, good people, to profit by the matter, and to look up a more honest doctor, if doctoring be what you want.''

As soon as he had ended, I remarked solemnly: ``The words of the spirits are not my words.Who shall hold them accountable?''

``Nonsense,'' said the young man.``Come, father''; and they left the room.

Now was the time to retrieve my character.

``Gentlemen,'' said I, ``you have heard this very singular account.Trusting the spirits utterly and entirely as I do, it occurs to me that there is no reason why they may not, after all, have been right in their suspicions of this young person.Who can say that, overcome by remorse, he may not have seized the time of his father's absence to replace the money?''

To my amazement, up gets a little old man from the corner.``Well, you are a low cuss!''

said he, and taking up a basket beside him, hobbled hastily out of the room.You may be sure I said some pretty sharp things to him, for I was out of humor to begin with, and it is one thing to be insulted by a stout young man, and quite another to be abused by a wretched old cripple.However, he went away, and I supposed, for my part, that I was done with the whole business.

An hour later, however, I heard a rough knock at my door, and opening it hastily, saw my red-headed young man with the cripple.

``Now,'' said the former, taking me by the collar, and pulling me into the room among my patients, ``I want to know, my man, if this doctor said that it was likely I was the thief after all?''

``That's what he said,'' replied the cripple;``just about that, sir.''

I do not desire to dwell on the after conduct of this hot-headed young man.It was the more disgraceful as I offered but little resistance, and endured a beating such as Iwould have hesitated to inflict upon a dog.

Nor was this all.He warned me that if I

dared to remain in the city after a week he would shoot me.In the East I should have thought but little of such a threat, but here it was only too likely to be practically carried out.Accordingly, with my usual decision of character, but with much grief and reluctance, I collected my whole fortune, which now amounted to at least seven thousand dollars, and turned my back upon this ungrateful town.I am sorry to say that I also left behind me the last of my good luck.

I traveled in a leisurely way until I reached Boston.The country anywhere would have been safer, but I do not lean to agricultural pursuits.It seemed an agreeable city, and Idecided to remain.

I took good rooms at Parker's, and concluding to enjoy life, amused myself in the company of certain, I may say uncertain, young women who danced at some of the theaters.

I played billiards, drank rather too much, drove fast horses, and at the end of a delightful year was shocked to find myself in debt, and with only seven dollars and fifty-three cents left--I like to be accurate.I had only one resource: I determined to visit my deaf aunt and Peninnah, and to see what I could do in the role of the prodigal nephew.At all events, I should gain time to think of what new enterprise I could take up; but, above all, I needed a little capital and a house over my head.I had pawned nearly everything of any value which I possessed.

I left my debts to gather interest, and went away to Woodbury.It was the day before Christmas when I reached the little Jersey town, and it was also by good luck Sunday.

I was hungry and quite penniless.I wandered about until church had begun, because I was sure then to find Aunt Rachel and Peninnah out at the service, and I desired to explore a little.The house was closed, and even the one servant absent.I got in with ease at the back through the kitchen, and having at least an hour and a half free from interruption, I made a leisurely search.The role of prodigal was well enough, but here was a better chance and an indulgent opportunity.

In a few moments I found the famous Bible hid away under Aunt Rachel's mattress.The Bible bank was fat with notes, but I intended to be moderate enough to escape suspicion.

Here were quite two thousand dollars.I resolved to take, just now, only one hundred, so as to keep a good balance.Then, alas! Ilit on a long envelop, my aunt's will.Every cent was left to Christ Church; not a dime to poor Pen or to me.I was in a rage.I tore up the will and replaced the envelop.To treat poor Pen that way--Pen of all people!

There was a heap more will than testament, for all it was in the Bible.After that Ithought it was right to punish the old witch, and so I took every note I could find.When I was through with this business, I put back the Bible under the mattress, and observing that I had been quite too long, I went down-stairs with a keen desire to leave the town as early as possible.I was tempted, however, to look further, and was rewarded by finding in an old clock case a small reticule stuffed with bank-notes.This I appropriated, and made haste to go out.I was too late.As Iwent into the little entry to get my hat and coat, Aunt Rachel entered, followed by Peninnah.

At sight of me my aunt cried out that I was a monster and fit for the penitentiary.As she could not hear at all, she had the talk to herself, and went by me and up-stairs, rumbling abuse like distant thunder overhead.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 梦醒人散独留一场空

    梦醒人散独留一场空

    恋爱不过只是一场梦,梦醒了,又该何去何从呢?
  • 匆匆那年予君恋

    匆匆那年予君恋

    再见你,又是何时......去时青丝挽髻,来时恐银丝暮雪。可,我还爱你。
  • 刀斩虚空

    刀斩虚空

    哥宰的不是人,哥宰的是猪!管你神马神兵利器,管你神马隐士高人统统一刀两半。手握杀猪刀,江湖任我飘!真心喜欢本书的加QQ群164475274!
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 峡谷数据控

    峡谷数据控

    游戏不止是操作和个人秀,还有分析和团队合作比赛不止是享受和梦想,还有严谨和计划赛场上的博弈不止是表面5V5的拼杀博弈,还有内在各种层面的分析如果一个选手不曾拥有顶尖的操作和手速,异于常人的特殊点只有理解、数据、分析以及数倍于他人的背后努力,一位理论知识远强于实际操作的前键盘侠能否以他的独特之处闯荡联盟
  • 汸华卷

    汸华卷

    两只为了一朝成仙的昙花妖,背着《汸华卷》踏上了修行之路。传说《汸华卷》可吸取的妖精眼泪,千山万水中兜兜转转,当妖落泪,其后又是什么故事?
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 窃玉藏珠

    窃玉藏珠

    御林大盗、亡国女侠与官家道姑的奇遇。关郃冷(男主):“吾负三约:未能忠恩主,承托孤,守尔誓。”白凝月(女主):“曾小公主笑我,维诺不前……”韩婵(女二号):“韶华逝水去,雪湖镜心空。”
  • 尊皇本纪

    尊皇本纪

    谁言天命不可违,我自一剑斩之。何论人欺少年穷,我自一式破之。天地不容,轮回不纳,我自逍遥九霄。绝世血脉,惊天隐秘,抽丝剥茧,纵横四海,成就一代尊皇!一切尽在《尊皇本纪》
  • 壬辰战争

    壬辰战争

    四百多年前,即公元1592~1598年,当时的中国大明王朝与日本在朝鲜半岛进行了一场为时超过六年战争,这也是中国历史上汉家皇朝的最后一次扬威域外之战。在资讯发达的今天,我们有幸得以翻阅记录这场战争的古籍资料,中国的《经略复国要编》、《皇明经世文编》;朝鲜的《李朝宣祖敬昭实录》、《再造藩邦志》、《乱中杂录》、《燃藜室记述》、《东国名将转》、《宣庙中兴志》;日本的《日本战史?朝鲜役》、《豊臣秀吉の朝鮮侵略》、《日本外史》、《征韩伟略》等诸多文献;在此,让我们抛开误解与偏见,在史料的指引下,重现四百多年前的那段峥嵘岁月。