You can' t control or influence certain events in life-earthquake, sabotage, terrorist bombings, being struck by lightning, a freak traffic accident and so on. But you can control how you think and feel about such incidents, even when you are the unfortunate victim of an accident.
You can choose to moan and groan about your misfortune, about what you have lost physically or financially. Or you can choose to count your blessings that you are still alive, that you have most of your physical or mental faculties. A prolonged negative attitude would make you miserable and regressive whereas a change to a positive attitude would spur you to think of possibilities.
You could be taunted or discriminated against if you lost a leg, arm or an eye. You can' t help some insensitive people doing such things. If you fret over what is said and what has been deprived of you, does it make you any happier, determined, persevering or resourceful?
The right attitude to take is not to let insults, sarcasm, rudeness, ridicule or mockery bother you. Why respond negatively to such behaviours of other people? It doesn' t pay to strike back contemptuously at them. If you do, you are showing that you are emotionally weaker.
Show that you are emotionally stronger, that you do not have to trade insults with insults, that what they say or do does not bother you at all. Show the dignity that they do not have.
The pain is not in what the insensitive people say about you or do to belittle you. The pain is in how you interpret and react to such acts.
Very often, we negatively over-react to, or "read" too much into, what people say or do. It' s a case of seeing what we want to see, regarding an issue as big when it could really be insignificant.
Even if people in reality are downright inhuman, you can choose to ignore their behaviour or not view it negatively at all. That is real self mastery.
Losing a part of the body is not the end of life. It might be the end of a career that you were trained in and the beginning of a new career but again, it might not. If the famous Stephen Hawking can speak through a computer gadget, if a golfer can still play with a metal arm, then a trainer who loses both legs or arms can still find some other ways to teach.
When you lose hope, when you despair, when you blame people all the time, when you do not even want to try and persevere, then you choose to make life meaningless for yourself.
What is the value of intellect, imagination, education, knowledge, wisdom, experience, competence and talent if you adopt a negative attitude every day?
To expand on what the writer in the church leaflet said, attitude can make or break a person. Either you are in charge of or you lose charge of your attitude.
四月里，我在悉尼出席一个研讨会时，收到别人给我的一份演讲稿。其中的内容讲的是感悟“态度”。
让我在此借用这位匿名作者的话：
“经历得越多，我就越能意识到态度对生活的影响。相比事实而言，态度对我更为重要。比起经验、教育、金钱、环境，以及他人的看法和言行，态度更为重要。外貌、智力或技能，与态度相比也显得微不足道。态度使一个企业、一种信仰、一个家庭存在或消失。
“值得注意的是，每天我们都可以选择以何种态度去迎接这一天。对于他人的处事方式和必然发生的事，我们都无法改变。我们唯一能做的，就是在我们自己的弦——我们的态度上做文章。
“因为我坚信，那些必然发生而又无法更改的事，只是人生的10%，其他90%则取决于我们如何看待。对于自己的态度，我们一样可以掌控。”
也就是说，不管遇到什么事，最重要的是看我们如何去面对它。
生活中的有些事件，你是无法控制或影响的，如地震、阴谋破坏、恐怖爆炸、遭遇雷击、突发的交通事故，等等。而自己对这些事件的想法和感受，你是可以控制的，即使你是事故的不幸受害者。
对于自己的灾祸，身体上和经济上的损失，你可以选择悲哀不已，也可以选择庆幸自己仍然活着，而且身体和大脑的多数功能都还在。积极的态度变化会激励你考虑那些潜在的希望，反之，持续的消极态度会让你痛苦和退缩。
假如你失去了一条腿、一只胳膊或一只眼睛，你可能会受到他人的嘲笑或歧视。你无法阻止那些麻木不仁的人这样做。如果你因他们对你的所作所为而悲哀烦恼，这样做能使你更聪明快乐、更坚决顽强吗？
为什么要消极地回应别人的侮辱、讽刺、 无礼和奚落呢？轻蔑地回击他们，对你来说是不值得的。如果你这样做了，只能表明你内心的软弱。不被这些行为烦扰才是正确的态度。
不必以牙还牙，他们的行为根本不会对你造成任何影响。把你内心的坚强表现出来，展示出他们所没有的尊严吧！
痛苦来自于你对这些行为的解释和回应，而并非麻木不仁者贬低你的言行。
通常，我们会对别人的言行举止有过激且消极的反应。这就是见己所欲见，小题大做。
就算人们确实太过分，你也可以积极地看待它，或对他们的行为不予理睬，这是真正的自制。
失去身体的一部分并不是生命的终结。也许是你熟悉的职业的终结，但也是你新事业的开始，也许不尽然。如果著名的史蒂芬·霍金可以通过电脑说话，如果一个打高尔夫的人仍可以用金属手臂打球，那么失去双臂或双腿的教练也就可以找到其他指导的方法。
当你失去希望，当你绝望，总是抱怨他人，甚至不想去尝试和坚持时，你就为自己选择了一种毫无意义的生活。
如果你以消极的态度对待每天的生活，那么智力、想象、教育、知识、智慧、经验、能力和才华，又有什么价值呢？
我引申一下作者在教堂传单上的话：态度可以决定一个人的成败。要么你学会掌控自己的态度，要么甘心受其摆布。
态度决定一切。面对生活，一种正确的态度就像梯子一样，让你更上一层楼。它也像阳光一样，时时给身边的人送去温暖。
sabotage ['s鎎t:, -tid] n. 怠工；破坏活动；破坏
Sabotage of property, thefts, and dirtying of premises are common.
破坏财产、偷盗和下流的行为是很普遍的。
moan [mun] v. 抱怨；呻吟
He moaned about his misfortunes to anyone who would listen.
他向每一个愿意听的人抱怨他的不幸。
spur [sp:] v. 刺激；激励
What spurred her to do that?
是什么促使她那么干的？
contemptuously [kn'temptjusli] adv. 傲慢地；蔑视地
She tried to sniff contemptuously, but succeeded in producing
only a sniffle.
她想用鼻子轻蔑地哼上一声，可是不成，只发出一声鼻音。
经历得越多，我就越能意识到态度对生活的影响。
也就是说，不管遇到什么事，最重要的是看我们如何去面对它。
态度可以决定一个人的成败。要么你学会掌控自己的态度，要么甘心受其摆布。
This means that no matter what happens to you, it is how you react or respond to it that is important.
no matter what：无论如何；我心依然；无论什么；不管如何
Even if people in reality are downright inhuman, you can choose to ignore their behaviour or not view it negatively at all.
even if：即使；纵然；甚至；尽管
学会接受
Cooperate with the Inevitable
戴尔·卡耐基 / Dale Carnegie
