在鲈鱼季节到来的前一天,他和父亲晚上很早就开始准备了。他们用小虫做诱饵来钓太阳鱼和鲈鱼。他在银色的鱼钩上放好诱饵,开始练习抛线。鱼钩撞到水面上,在夕阳中荡起一片色彩斑澜的水波。接着,当月亮升起来时,水波就变得银光闪闪。
当他的鱼杆弯下去的时候,他知道线的那一端一定钓到了一条大鱼。他灵巧地在码头边沿和那条大鱼周旋。父亲用充满赞赏的眼神看着他。
最后,他很小心地将那条筋疲力尽的鱼从水里拉了出来。这可是他所见过的最大的一条鱼,而且还是一条鲈鱼。
男孩和他的父亲凝视着这条漂亮的鱼,它的鳃在月光下一张一翕。父亲点亮一根火柴,看了—下表。现在是晚上十点——离鲈鱼季节的开放还有两个小时。他看了看鱼,又看了看那个男孩。
“你要把它再放回去,儿子。”他说。
“爸爸!”男孩喊。
“还会有其他鱼的。”父亲说。
“但肯定不会有这样大的。”男孩喊道。
他看了看湖的周围,月光笼罩下,没有其他渔民或船只。他再一次看着父亲。尽管并没有人看着他们,也没有人知道他们是什么时候钓到鱼的,但从父亲那坚定的声音中,男孩知道这个决定是不可更改的。他慢慢地将鱼钩从大鲈鱼的唇上拿下来,然后蹲下去把那条鱼放回水里。
那条鱼摆了摆强健的身子,消失在水里。男孩怀疑他再也不可能看到那么大的鱼了。
那件事已经过去三十四年了。而今,那个男孩已经成为纽约城里一位成功的建筑师。他父亲的小屋仍然矗立于湖心岛上。他也曾带着自己的儿子和女儿回到那个码头去钓鱼。
他当时的猜想是对的。他再也没有见过那么大的鱼,大得像很久以前的那天晚上所钓到的那条鱼。但是,在他每次面对道德问题时,那条大鱼总会浮现在他的眼前。
因为正如父亲告诉他的那样,道德是简单的对和错的问题,但困难的是付诸行动。在旁侧无人时,我们能否仍然正当行事?我们是否会拒绝为了按时完成设计而草率了事?或者在明知不应该的情况下,根据不该得知的信息买卖公司股票呢?
当我们年轻的时候,如果有人让我们把鱼放回去,我们就会那样去做,因为我们从中将学到真理。选择去做正确事情的决定将在我们的记忆里变得深刻而清晰。我们可以把这个故事自豪地讲给朋友和后辈听。这不是关于如何攻击某种体制并战胜它,而是关于如何去做正确的事情,从而变得更加坚强有力。
幸福与娱乐毫不相干
The Essence of Happiness
佚名 / Anonymous
I live in the land of Disney, Hollywood and year round sun. You may think people in such a glamorous, fun filled place are happier than others. If so, you have some mistakes about the nature of happiness.
Many intelligent people still equate happiness with fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or nothing in common. Fun is what we experience during an act. Happiness is what we experience after an act. It is deeper, more abiding emotion.
The way people cling to the belief that a fun filled, pain free life equals happiness actually diminishes1 their chances of ever attaining real happiness. If fun and pleasure are equated with happiness, then pain must be equated with unhappiness. But in fact, the opposite is true: More times than not, things that lead to happiness involve some pain.
As a result, many people avoid the very endeavors that are the source of tree happiness. They fear the pain inevitably2 brought by such things as marriage, raising children, professional achievement, religious commitment, civic or charitable3 work, and self-improvement.
Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying. If he' s honest, he will tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment. For commitment is in fact quite painful. The single life is filled with fun, adventure, excitement. Marriage has such movement, but they are not its most distinguishing features.
Similarly, couples who choose not to have children are deciding in favor of painless fun over painful happiness. They can dine out whenever they want, travel wherever they want and sleep as late as they want. Couples with infant children are lucky to get a whole night' s sleep or a three-day vacation. I don' t know any parents would choose the word fun to describe raising children.
But couples who decide not to have children never experience the pleasure of hugging them or tucking them into bed at night. They never know the joy of watching a child grow up or of playing with a grandchild.
But these forms of fun do not contribute in any way to my happiness. More difficult endeavors4—writing, raising children, creating deep relationship with my wife, trying to do good in the world—will bring me more happiness than can ever be found in fun, that least permanent things.
Understanding and accepting that true happiness has nothing to do with fun is one of the most liberating realizations we can ever come to. It liberates time: now we can devote more hours to activities that can genuinely increase our happiness. It liberates money: buying that new car or those fancy clothes that will do nothing to increase our happiness now seems pointless. And it liberates us from envy: we now understand that all those rich and glamorous people we were so sure are happy because they are always having so much fun actually may not be happy at all.
The moment we understand that fun does not bring happiness, we began to lead our lives differently. The effect can be, quite literally, life transforming.
我住在好莱坞迪斯尼乐园,那里全年阳光普照。你可能认为生活在那么富于魅力,充满乐趣的地方,一定比其他地方的人更幸福。如果这么想,你可能对幸福的真谛有些误解。
很多聪明的人仍将幸福等同于乐趣。其实,乐趣和幸福的共同之处极少,或者说根本就没有。乐趣是行为过程中的感受,而幸福是我们行为过后的感受,它是一种更为深刻、持久的感情。
人们坚信充满欢乐,远离痛苦的生活方式就等于幸福。实际上,这样反而减少了他们获得真正幸福的机会。如果欢乐和愉快等同于幸福,那痛苦就等同于不幸。其实恰恰相反,多数情况下,能带来幸福的事物往往包含诸多痛苦。
所以说,许多人所逃避的艰难困苦恰恰是真正幸福的源泉。这些人害怕那些必定会带来痛苦的事情,如结婚、抚养子女、提高专业技能、承担宗教义务、社会服务或慈善事业,提升自我等。
尽管一个单身者对约会越来越不感兴趣,但当你问他为什么还不想结婚时,如果他很诚实,就会告诉你,他怕承担责任。因为承担责任确实是一件痛苦的事情。独身生活充满着乐趣、冒险和激情。婚姻虽然也有如此体验,却大为逊色。
同样,选择不要孩子的夫妻都有一种观点,即宁可要不痛苦的欢乐,也不要痛苦的幸福。他们可以随时出去吃饭,旅游,想睡到多晚就睡多晚。而有孩子的夫妻,睡上一整晚,或有三天假期,算是幸运的了。我想,任何夫妇都不会用“乐趣”这个词来形容抚养孩子。
但是,不要孩子的夫妇永远也体会不到,拥抱孩子或晚上给孩子掖好被子时的愉悦。他们永远不知道,看着孩子长大或者逗弄儿孙的乐趣。
然而,这些形式的乐趣在任何意义上都称不上是我所谓的幸福。写作、抚养孩子、增进与妻子的感情、为社会做些善事——这些给我带来的幸福远比娱乐带来的乐趣要多。要知道,娱乐是转瞬即逝的。
了解并接受真正的幸福与娱乐毫不相干,我们能获得最大限度的解放。它解放了时间:现在我们能集中更多的时间去从事那些能带给我们真正幸福的活动;它解放了金钱;买一辆新车或一些时尚的衣物并不能增加我们的幸福;它把我们从嫉妒中解放出来:我们懂得,那些曾被我们确信幸福的富豪权贵们,只不过是享受了太多的娱乐,事实上或许毫无幸福可言。
我们如果懂得娱乐并不带来幸福,就会开始用不同的方式生活。其效果将是人生真正的转折点。
每个人都是天才
Do You Know Your Special Talent
安妮·海伍德/Anne Heywood
What I am about to say may appear to be plugging my own business, but it' s what I know best... and I believe it deeply and sincerely.