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第20章 优于过去的自己 (6)

I believe that brotherhood can grow from this to help destroy forever the seeds of friction3 and injustice that stem from group minority prejudices.

If only each one of us can develop a sound philosophy and work out a course of conduct as individuals, then I believe we can solve our world problems at the international level. Thomas Mann once gave this challenging definition: "War is only a cowardly4 escape from the problems of peace." With faith and good will in our hearts and with peace in our souls and minds, surely we can leave this world the better for our having lived in it.

人类生活在复杂的社会和文明中, 总会不可避免地感到困惑。然而, 我相信:人类自身才是解决全世界和群体问题的根本,无论是否公开承认,每个人的内心深处都藏着一个精神家园。揭开覆盖在它表层的东西,它永远在那里,没有人能够将其隐藏。我相信上帝和有序的宇宙,这是我所有信条中的第一个。

生命是有限的,我相信,人类应该为自己追求幸福,同时也为他人带去幸福,这才是人类真正要追求的最基本的生活目标。回顾自己丰富的生活阅历,我明白了,真正的幸福似乎是自私和以自我为中心。但是,那些牟取私利、满足个人物质需要的人永远不会拥有真正的幸福。只有当幸福与无私、体谅他人联系在一起时,这种幸福才会是有深度、真正令人满意的幸福。幸福的本质是奉献,这种奉献带来了我们所有人所追求的真正幸福。曾经有人说过这样的话:“幸福是我们为在地球上占据的空间而支付的租金。”

自私自利是世界上最令人憎恶的恶行,它是一切幸福的对立面。世界的每一个角落似乎都存在着这种恶行,国家之间对于权利的贪婪追求,人与人之间为了物质财富而进行的斗争。

每个人都需要一种幽默感和分寸感,我相信幽默感是理解的开端,能够使人类沉着、冷静。

我的信条是:同胞之间、群体之间应该快乐地相处。我反对我国早期曾盛行的宣扬残酷的地狱之火及战火这样的谬论,这让人类对来世的信仰产生了巨大恐惧。为什么连教堂里靠背椅的椅背都像件瘦小的外套,令人很不舒服!快乐地面对生活不但使自己感到高兴,还能温暖他人,减轻他人的生活负担。

我相信,幸福能够产生兄弟情谊,有助于消除小群体偏见产生的冲突和不公平的苗头。

只要每个人都能确立一个正确的哲学观,制定出一套个人行为规范,我相信我们能够解决国际问题。托马斯·曼曾经提出了这样一条富有挑战性的定义:“战争只是对和平解决问题方式的逃避。”只要心中有信仰,有良好的愿望,只要思想和灵魂追求和平,我们就一定能够在有生之年让世界变得更加美好。

爱的过程

Let Go

佚名 / Anonymous

The experience of love is an inner state. When this is present, you are happy, alive, and free. You feel good about yourself and good about life. As you bring the experience of love into your life, life works effortlessly1 and great things happen.

The opposite of love is fear and upset. When this is present, you lose down inside. You lose your creativity and your ability to see clearly. You get tunnel vision and you interact in a way that almost always makes your situation worse.

Whether you live in a state of love or a state of upset depends, not on your circumstances, but on how you relate to your circumstances. A good way to see this is to look at upsets.

Upsets seem to be caused by what happens but they' re not. Upsets are caused by your fighting and resisting what happens. To see this in your life, select a recent upset, Now notice what would happen if somehow you were at peace with what happened. There would be no upset.

There would be no upset because upsets aren' t caused by what happened. Upsets are caused by fighting and resisting what happened. The moment you take away the fighting and resisting, the upset disappears.

To live the experience of love, and to create a life that works, you need to stop the fighting and resisting. You do this through a process called letting go.

Letting go is the inner action that releases the fear and upset. The moment you let go, everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone, you see your situation very differently. You become creative and discover solutions2 that you could never have seen before.

To let go, you need to do the opposite of fighting and resisting. You need to let go of your demands and expectations for how life should be and make peace with the way life is.

Find what you are resisting. Then give it full permission to be there, If you have a fear of losing a relationship, be willing to be it. If you are resisting the way someone is, then give the person full permission3 to be that way.

Be willing for anything. Set yourself free inside. Then take whatever action you need to have your life be great.

Keep in mind that letting go is a state of mind and has nothing to do with your actions. Letting go is the process that removes the fear and upset so you can see what action you need to take.

In your heart, you can be willing to lose someone, but in your actions, do everything you can to make sure the person feels so loved that he or she would never want to leave.

To make letting go a little easier, there are several steps you can take. The first is trusting. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When you know that you will be okay, letting go becomes relatively easy.

Trusting is also telling the truth. You really will be okay no matter what happens. Life is only threatening when you resist. So stop resisting and trust. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be okay.

The second step in the process of letting go is to be willing to feel your hurt. Be willing to feel all the hurt and the feelings of being not okay that your circumstances reactivate. Be willing to feel the hurt of being worthless or not "good enough".

The avoidance of this hurt is what makes you resist. Once you are willing to feel this hurt, the need to resist disappears. You can then let go.

For example, Robert had a fear of losing his wife Jan. To make sure she didn' t leave, he hung on to her. His hanging on then pushed her further and further away. Robert was afraid of losing Jan because if she left him, this would reactivate4 all his hurt of feeling not worth loving. To avoid this hurt. He hung on.

Once he was willing to feel his hurt, the loss of Jan ceased to be a treat. He no longer needed to hang on and became willing for her to leave. The moment this happened he changed the way he related to her. Instead of needing Jan, he started treasuring her. Jan then felt so loved and able to be herself, she didn' t want to leave.

This is what happens in life. The more you are able to let go and flow with life, the more life takes care of itself. You may not always get what you want, but you can always be free inside. You can restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness. You can create a life that works.

爱的体验是一种心理状态。沉浸在爱里,你会感到幸福快乐、生气勃勃、自由自在。自我感觉良好,生活就会非常美好。当你把这种爱的体验带进生活时,生活就会变得轻松自如,充满喜悦。

爱的反面是恐惧和不安。处于这种状态时,你会深深地陷入绝望,失去创造力和洞察事物的能力;你的视野会变得狭窄,处世方式也会受到影响,这些使你的处境变得更糟。

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