登陆注册
6246000000196

第196章

But the grandest explosious, in Tobacco-Parliament, were producible, when you got Two literary fools; and, as if with Leyden-jars, positive and negative, brought their vanities to bear on one another. This sometimes happened, when Tobacbo-Parliament was in luck. Friedrich Wilhelm had a variety of Merry-Andrew Raths of the Gundling sort, though none ever came up to Gundling, or approached him, in worth as a Merry-Andrew.

Herr Fassmann, who wrote Books, by Patronage or for the Leipzig Booksellers, and wandered about the world as a star or comet of some magnitude, is not much known to my readers:--but he is too well known to me, for certain dark Books of his which I have had to read. [<italic> Life of Friedrich Wilhelm, <end italic>

occasionally cited here; <italic> Life of August the Strong;<end italic> &c.] A very dim Literary Figure; undeniable, indecipherable Human Fact, of those days; now fallen quite extinct and obsolete; his garniture, equipment, environment all very dark to us. Probably a too restless, imponderous creature, too much of the Gundling type; structure of him GASEOUS, not solid; Perhaps a little of the coxcomb naturally; much of the sycophant on compulsion,--being sorely jammed into corners, and without elbow-room at all, in this world. Has, for the rest, a recognizable talent for "Magazine writing,"--for Newspaper editing, had that rich mine, "California of the Spiritually Vagabond," been opened in those days. Poor extinct Fassmann, one discovers at last a vein of weak geniality in him; here and there, real human sense and eyesight, under those strange conditions;and his poor Books, rotted now to inanity, have left a small seed-pearl or two, to the earnest reader. Alas, if he WAS to become "spiritually vagabond" ("spiritually" and otherwise), might it not perhaps be wholesome to him that the California was NOT discovered?--Fassmann was by no means such a fool as Gundling; but, he was much of a fool too. He had come to Berlin, about this time, [1726, as he himself says (supra p. 8).] in hopes of patronage from the King or somebody; might say to himself, "Surely I am a better man than Gundling, if the Berlin Court has eyesight." By the King, on some wise General's recommending it, he was, as a preliminary, introduced to the Tabagie at least. Here is the celebrated Gundling; there is the celebrated Fassmann. Positive Leyden-jar, with negative close by: in each of these two men lodges a full-charged fiery electric virtue of self-conceit; destructive each of the other;--could a conductor be discovered.

Conductors are discoverable, conductors are not wanting; and many are the explosions between these mutually-destructive human varieties;--welcomed with hilarious, rather vacant, huge horse-laughter, in this Tobacco-Parliament and Synod of the Houyhnhnms.

Of which take this acme; and then end. Fassmann, a fellow not without sarca** and sharpness, as you may still see, has one evening provoked Gundling to the transcendent pitch,--till words are weak, and only action will answer. Gundling, driven to the exploding point, suddenly seizes his Dutch smoking-pan, of peat-charcoal ashes and red-hot sand; and dashes it in the face of Fassmann; who is of course dreadfully astonished thereby, and has got his very eyebrows burnt, not to speak of other injuries.

Stand to him, Fassmann! Fassmann stands to him tightly, being the better man as well as the more satirical; grasps Gundling by the collar, wrenches him about, lays him at last over his knee, sitting-part uppermost; slaps said sitting-part (poor sitting-part that had broken the ice of Wusterhausen) with the hot pan,--nay some say, strips it and slaps. Amid the inextinguishable horse-laughter (sincere but vacant) of the Houyhnhnm Olympus.

After which, his Majesty, as epilogue to such play, suggests, That feats of that nature are unseemly among gentlemen; that when gentlemen have a quarrel, there is another way of settling it.

Fassmann thereupon challenges Gundling; Gundling accepts; time and place are settled, pistols the weapon. At the appointed time and place Gundling stands, accordingly, pistol in hand; but at sight of Fassmann, throws his pistol away; will not shoot any man, nor have any man shoot him. Fassmann sternly advances; shoots his pistol (powder merely) into Gundling's sublime goat's-hair wig:

wig blazes into flame; Gundling falls shrieking, a dead man, to the earth; and they quench and revive him with a bucket of water.

Was there ever seen such horse-play? Roaring laughter, huge, rude, and somewhat vacant, as that of the Norse gods over their ale at Yule time;--as if the face of the Sphinx were to wrinkle itself in laughter; or the fabulous Houyhnhnms themselves were there to mock in their peculiar fashion.

His Majesty at length gave Gundling a wine-cask, duly figured;"painted black with a white cross," which was to stand in his room as MEMENTO-MORI, and be his coffin. It stood for ten years;Gundling often sitting to write in it; a good screen against draughts. And the poor monster was actually buried in this cask;[Died 11th April, 1731, age 58: description of the Burial "at Bornstadt near Potsdam," in Forster, i. 276.] Fassmann pronouncing some funeral oration,--and the orthodox clergy uttering, from the distance, only a mute groan. "The Herr Baron von Gundling was a man of many dignities, of much Book-learning; a man of great memory," admits Fassmann, "but of no judgment," insinuates he,--LOOKING FOR the Judgment (EXPECTANS JUDICIUM)," says Fassmann, with a pleasant wit. Fassmann succeeded to all the emoluments and honors; but did not hold them; preferred to run away before long:

同类推荐
  • 平定交南录

    平定交南录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 外经微言

    外经微言

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 证治准绳·幼科

    证治准绳·幼科

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 角虎集

    角虎集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 法集要颂经

    法集要颂经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 穿书后成为团宠女配

    穿书后成为团宠女配

    穿书后凤玲成为了凤族中唯一的女娃娃却是女配,但是凤玲不想跟原书女主作对想成为一名路人甲,但事实不许,她和原书女主成为了最好的闺蜜。(女强男更强,男主出现的比较晚)敬请期待文章
  • 绝刃神器

    绝刃神器

    洪荒异世,一老者,已触摸到炼器界的巅峰,只可惜大限将来。发誓来生要登上武道巅峰…以己身练其器具。此等胆识,唔已佩服。唔以等万年,希望汝不会让我失望!
  • 羌希暗夜之夫君快到碗里来

    羌希暗夜之夫君快到碗里来

    “你就是灵界的耻辱!”她是被老灵王定为最卑贱的族人,在灵界遭受着白眼和嘲讽。遇见他,不知是命运的眷顾还是作弄。护法?灵杖的主动契约?魔王示爱?寻找河罗门?只是为了离他更近。越靠近他,为什么身世的秘密就越多人知晓?!大战四起,神兽被灭,被追杀,,封印被冲破,她觉醒与四界为敌。他说:谁敢伤害她的性命,我便让谁陪葬!谁敢拆散我们,我就吞了谁的祖魂!这一世,下一世,生生世世,她都是我的妻!
  • 剑仙史记

    剑仙史记

    男主角从地球去往仙界成为主宰的狗血剧情,不喜勿喷哈哈
  • 七宿录

    七宿录

    绝氏绝境,天罗大劫。星海七宿,穹顶镇妖。千载匆匆,扶桑孕子。焱冰现,天瞳出。君子谦谦,潇潇雨歇。佳人依依,盈盈笑靥。陌途寒寒,扰扰人间。月殇华华,冷冷千夜!
  • EXO,重生高冷的女王大人

    EXO,重生高冷的女王大人

    “为什么你们每次都要伤害我和我爱人,我要加倍会给你们,如果让我从来一次我会让你们生不如死,哈哈哈哈哈哈........."对,我重生了。成为了一位血族女王..........大家猜猜会发生什么事?
  • 我的鼻子能预知未来

    我的鼻子能预知未来

    原本平平无奇的我,一天,突然发现自己的鼻子可以预知未来!?从那以后,一切就都变了……
  • 未曾不配

    未曾不配

    每个人年少时分,都曾有过轻狂,有过梦想,只因为我们青春。青春,是年轻的标志,是梦想的启航,但我们却不能因为青春而肆意挥霍,去浪费,我们应该在正确的时间做正确的事。在青春的路上,我们有迷茫,有懵懂,但最终,我们会选择一条路,天堂or地狱?这都是我们自己的选择。我们青春可以原谅,却不能一直迷茫下去。
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 鬼差也风流

    鬼差也风流

    我本是地府鬼差,因为一个日常勾魂而接到特殊的任务。你听说过鬼重塑人身吗?什么是阴阳尸?世上还有双性僵尸?著名的双鱼玉佩到底是怎么回事!且看我鬼差一一为您揭开。