The trouble with foreign people in this country is that they take everything Americans say literally. I have a French friend named Michel Bernheim. I met him the other day on the street， and after the usual chitchat about Paris I said， “Give me a call some time.”
The next day he was on the line.
“Bonjour，” he said， “It’s Michel. You said to give you a call.”
“I did？”
“Oui① ， don’t you remember？ I spoke to you yesterday on Pennsylvania Avenue②.”
“I didn’t mean for you to give me a call right away. I was just finding a nice way to say goodbye to you.”
“But you asked me to call you.”
“You are right， Michel. Look， I’m terribly busy right now. Let’s have a lunch some time.”
“I would like that. When？”
“I’m not sure. Why don’t you give me a holler③ ？”
Two days later I heard someone calling my name from the sidewalk. I opened the window in my office and Michel was down below.
“What in the devil are you shouting about？” I yelled down to him.
“You said to give you a holler when I wanted to have lunch. How about today？”
“I’m busy today.”
“Well， when can you have lunch？”
“I’m not sure. I’m tied up for the next three weeks.”
“Why did you tell me to give you a holler when I wanted to have lunch if you were so tied up？”
“Michel， you’ve been around long enough to know when an American says， ‘Let’s have lunch some time，’ he doesn’t necessarily④ mean it. Americans say ‘Let’s have lunch’ which in our country means， ‘Don’t call me， I’ll call you.’”
Michel said， “I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“You didn’t bother me. Let’s check in with each other and have a drink one of these days.”
“That would be great，” Michel said.
I was sweating out a column the next day when the door opened and Michel stuck his head in.
“Now what？”
“I’m just checking in to see if you wanted a drink.”
“Can’t you see I’m busy？”
“I can see that now， but I couldn’t before”.
“Michel， you’re driving me nuts. You can’t take everything we Americans say as gospel⑤. The only reason I said “Let’s have a drink some time is because I wanted you to stop hollering under my window about having lunch together.”
“All you have to do is tell me you don’t want to see me，” Michel said in a hurt voice， “instead of asking me to meet with you all the time and then breaking the date.”
I felt badly. “You’re right. I feel terrible about the way I’ve treated you. Our problem is that we’re so used to say goodbye to each other with a promise we’ll get together soon， that no one in this country expects the other person to keep it. We wouldn’t be able to get anything done if we had lunch with everyone we accidentally⑥ met on the street.”
“I understand，” Michel said. “But if you change your mind， you have my card and you can call me.”
“I don’t have your card， Michel. That’s another thing you don’t understand. When Americans exchange business cards with each other， they usually throw them away when they get home.”
① oui【法语】是，对
② avenuen. 大街，大道
③ hollern. 叫喊
④ necessarilyadv. 必然地，必要地
⑤ gospeln. 信条，准则，真理
⑥ accidentallyadv. 偶然地，意外地
美国特有的一种老习惯
在这个国家里和外国人相处的麻烦是，他们总是按照词句的本义来理解美国人所说的一切。我有一个法国朋友，名叫米歇尔·伯恩海姆。不久前的一天，我在街上碰到他，像往常一样，闲聊了一会有关巴黎的情况后，我说：“日后给我来个电话。”
第二天，他就打电话来了。
“早安”，他说，“我是米歇尔，你要我给你打电话。”
“是吗？”
“当然是，你难道不记得啦？我昨天在宾夕法尼亚大街上和你讲过话。”
“我讲这话的意思不是要你马上给我打电话。我只是婉转地向你告别。”
“可你叫我给你打电话的。”
“你说得对，米歇尔。瞧，我现在忙得要死。日后我们一起吃顿便餐吧。”
“我很乐意。哪一天？”
“我说不准。你要去的时候来叫我一声吧。”
两天后，我听见有人在人行道上叫我的名字。我打开办公室的窗户，看见米歇尔站在下面。
“你究竟在吼什么？”我嚷着问他。
“你让我在想吃便餐时来叫你。今天怎么样？”
“我今天很忙。”
“那么，你什么时候能吃便餐？”
“很难说，下三个星期我都没空。”
“既然你这么忙，那为什么还要让我在想吃便餐的时候来叫你呢？”
“米歇尔，你在美国已经呆了这么长时间了，应该知道当一个美国人说‘让我们日后吃便餐’时，他未必真打算这么做。美国人说‘让我们吃便餐’就意味着不要打电话给我，我会打电话给你。”
米歇尔说：“我并不是有意来打扰你的。”
“你并没有打扰我。改日，让我们互相联系，在一起喝一杯。”
“太好了”，米歇尔说。
第二天，我正在吃力地审阅着一个专栏时，门开了，米歇尔把头伸了进来。
“又怎么啦？”
“我只是想来看看你是否想喝一杯？”
“难道你看不见我在忙着吗？”
“我现在才看见，但在没进来之前，我可看不见。”
“米歇尔，你真把我搞得要发疯。你不能把我们美国人说的一切都当真。我说‘让我们改日喝一杯’，只是因为我想你不要在我窗户底下大喊一起去吃便餐。”
“其实，你只需要告诉我你不想见我，”米歇尔伤心地说，“而不要一直让我和你见面，然后又失约。”
我感到很不安。“不错，用这种方法对待你，我感到很糟糕。问题在于我们已非常习惯于用很快相聚的承诺来相互说再见，而在我们国家里没有人会指望对方履行这种诺言。如果我们和偶然在街上碰到的每个人都去吃便餐的话，那么，我们将一事无成。”
“我懂了”，米歇尔说，“但是，如果你改变主意，你有我的名片，你可以打电话给我。”
“我没有你的名片，米歇尔。这又是你不懂的一件事。当美国人互相交换名片时，他们通常在到家时就把它们扔掉了。”
