登陆注册
46400700000088

第88章 PART 7How to Break the Worry Habit Before It Break

How did this bed-ridden invalid get so much out of life?I’ll give you two guesses.Did he do it by complaining and criticising?No....By wallowing in self-pity and demanding that he be the centre of attention and everyone cater to him?No....Still wrong.He didit by adopting as his slogan the motto of the Prince of Wales:“Ich dien”—“I serve.”He accumulated the names and addresses of other invalids and cheered both them and himself by writing happy,encouraging letters.In fact,he organised a letterwriting club for invalids and got them writing letters to one another.Finally,he formed a national organisation called the Shut-in Society.

As he lay in bed,he wrote an average of fourteen hundred letters a year and brought joy to thousands of invalids by getting radios and books for shut-ins.

What was the chief difference between Dr.Loope and a lot of other people?Just this:Dr.Loope had the inner glow of a man with a purpose,a mission.He had the joy of knowing that he was being used by an idea far nobler and more significant than himself,instead of being as Shaw put it:“a selfcentred,little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world would not devote itself to making him happy.”

Here is the most astonishing statement that I ever read from the pen of a great psychiatrist.This statement was made by Alfred Adler.He used to say to his melancholia patients:“You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this preion.Try to think every day how you can please someone.”

That statement sounds so incredible that I feel I ought to try to explain it by quoting a couple of pages from Dr.Adler’s splendid book,What Life Should Mean to You.

“Melancholia,”says Adler in What Life Should Mean to You:“is like a long-continued rage and reproach against others,though for the purpose of gaining care,sympathy and support,the patient seems only to be dejected about his own guilt.A melancholiac’s first memory is generally something like this:‘I remember I wanted to lie on the couch,but my brother was lying there.I cried so much that he had to leave.’

“Melancholiacs are often inclined to revenge themselves by committing suicide,and the doctor’s first care is to avoid giving them an excuse for suicide.I myself try to relieve the whole tension by proposing to them,as the first rule in treatment,‘Never do anything you don’t like.’this seems to be very modest,but I believe that it goes to the root of the whole trouble If a melancholiac is able to do anything he wants,whom can he accuse?What has he got to revenge himself for?‘If you want to go to the theatre,’I tell him,‘or to go on a holiday,do it.If you find on the way that you don’t want to,stop it.’It is the best situation anyone could be in.It gives a satisfaction to his striving for superiority.He is like God and can do what he pleases.On the other hand,it does not fit very easily into his style of life.He wants to dominate and accuse others and if they agree with him there is no way of dominating them.This rule is a great relief and I have never had a suicide among my patients.

“Generally the patient replies:‘But there is nothing I like doing.’I have prepared for this answer,because I have heard it so often.‘then refrain from doing anything you dislike,’I say.Sometimes,however,he will reply:‘I should like to stay in bed all day.’I know that,if I allow it,he will no longer want to do it.I know that,if I hinder him,he will start a war.I always agree.

“This is one rule.Another attacks their style of life more directly.I tell them:‘You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this preion.Try to think every day how you can please someone.’See what this means to them.They are occupied with the thought.‘How can I worry someone.’the answers are very interesting.Some say:‘this will be very easy for me.I have done it all my life.’they have never done it.I ask them to think it over.They do not think it over.I tell them:‘You can make use of all the time you spend when you are unable to go to sleep by thinking how you can please someone,and it will be a big step forward in your health.’When I see them next day,I ask them:‘did you think over what I suggested?’they answer:‘Lastnight I went to sleep as soon as I got to bed.’All this must be done,of course,in a modest,friendly manner,without a hint of superiority.

“Others will answer:‘I could never do it.I am so worried.’I tell them:‘don’t stop worrying;but at the same time you can think now and then of others.’I want to direct their interest always towards their fellows.Many say:‘Why should I please others?Others do not try to please me.’‘You must think of your health,’I answer.The others will suffer later on.It is extremely rare that I have found a patient who said:‘I have thought over what you suggested.’All my efforts are devoted towards increasing the social interest of the patient.I know that the real reason for his malady is his lack of co-operation and I want him to see it too.As soon as he can connect himself with his fellow men on an equal and cooperative footing,he is cured....The most important task imposed by religion has always been ‘Love thy neighbour’....It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others.It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring....All that we demand of a human being,and the highest praise we can give him is that he should be a good fellow worker,a friend to all other men,and a true partner in love and marriage.”

Dr.Adler urges us to do a good deed every day.And what is a good deed?“A good deed,”said the prophet Mohammed,“is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of another.”

Why will doing a good deed every day produce such astounding efforts on the doer?Because trying to please others will cause us to stop thinking of ourselves:the very thing that produces worry and fear and melancholia.

同类推荐
  • 爱在尘埃堆积的角落

    爱在尘埃堆积的角落

    很多时候,爱就是这样简简单单的两三事。我牵着你的手,你靠着我的肩膀,刹那间,爱就是一切。过寻常日子,看细水长流。虽无声,却动人。
  • 英语PARTY——人物风采

    英语PARTY——人物风采

    本套书籍带你领略英语世界风景,感悟英语学习氛围,有助于英语学习。
  • 科学读本(英文原版)(第4册)

    科学读本(英文原版)(第4册)

    以一位名为威尔逊的教授与3位学生为主角,通过对各种事物与科学知识和原理的讨论,系统讲述了孩子们身边随时可见的事物与现象原理。以激发孩子们对科学的兴趣与爱好。这比死记知识,大量解题要实用得多。《科学读本(英文原版)(套装共6册)》对中国学生而言,这又是另一习得英语的良好途径,尤其对那些准备出国学习的孩子们,《科学读本》的阅读学习,对他们继续国外课程的学业定有很大帮助。比起文学与文史题材的英语读本,科学英语更容易让孩子们理解与学习。一是其讲述内容均为我们身边熟悉的万事万物,容易联想记忆;二是科技英语的语法、句子结构相对简单,比文学语言更简洁清晰,易于理解。相信会得到孩子们的喜欢。
  • 青春不散场

    青春不散场

    年轻的日子,仿佛总是阳光灿烂的。那时候,可以肆意,可以挥洒,可以旁若无人。青春而且无畏,相信并且坚信不疑。多么好。一瞬一季,一季一年。青春的花儿开了又谢了,生命里的人儿来了又走了。哭哭笑笑,离合聚散。感谢那些陪你一起走过青春的人们吧!他们是你的风景,装点着你的日夜。
  • 英语PARTY——幽默加油站

    英语PARTY——幽默加油站

    本套书籍带你领略英语世界风景,感悟英语学习氛围,有助于英语学习。
热门推荐
  • 古剑奇谭之仙剑奇侠传

    古剑奇谭之仙剑奇侠传

    蓬莱大战,屠苏逝去,晴雪踏遍万里山川,找了三年终没找到苏苏。晴雪的记忆被人修改,记忆修改后晴雪成为了天雪城的大师姐白荷雪,在这时屠苏欲火重生,成为了吉淋城的大师兄,屠苏晴雪方兰生等人一起执行任务,在路途中遇到天界战神飞蓬,晴雪想起了千年前的记忆和千年前自己的身份------上古神女夕瑶,还有自己千年的恋人----上古战神飞蓬。在这时屠苏想起了一切,飞蓬与晴雪屠苏等人一起上路,寻找上古神剑,在路上遇见了魔族人,与魔族展开了较量,就在这时六界外的邪剑仙出现了,道、仙、魔合作起来一起对付邪剑仙,这一路上晴雪、屠苏、景天,方兰生、孙月言、襄铃,芙渠、陵越等人的爱恋是怎样的?
  • 某不科学的铃科羽

    某不科学的铃科羽

    一栋足足有八层高的大楼下聚集了一大片的人群。本来在早晨这种忙碌的时辰,大家都有着自己的事情需要做,学生要去上学,大人们要去上班,但是他们现在都聚集在了这样一座八层的大楼的下面,原因是他们听说在这栋大楼的楼顶上,有人想要寻短见跳楼自杀。
  • 龙门凤女

    龙门凤女

    绝世神医俞舒宏,转世重生。重生成为了王家庶女,依靠绝世医术,走上了逆袭之路。
  • 我拧了地球一颗螺丝

    我拧了地球一颗螺丝

    苏瀣“不小心”拧下了一颗古代的螺丝,没想到地球竟然……
  • 绝世天王星

    绝世天王星

    带着系统穿越到平行空间。从小做起,一步一个脚印,成就无上传奇生涯。
  • 西山里的她

    西山里的她

    许轻雯,她不是一个可以容忍的女子,当感情出现裂缝的那一刻,当宋辰钰开始怀疑的那一刻,这段仅仅持续了一年的感情就如日薄西山,直至黑夜来临,许轻雯翻过了无尽的黑夜,当内心的那份不安开始升起,却发现,她已过西山。
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 执剑舞云霄

    执剑舞云霄

    平湖泛舟,赞叹世间美好,踏浪而行,以歌男儿本色。我听过仙人的传说,更向往仙人之地,一剑东来,一门大开,凡世间恶念妖怪,见我皆惴惴不安。
  • 学神有主:盛宠娇妻

    学神有主:盛宠娇妻

    第一次遇到楚意,季祁看他犹如看一个聚宝盆,会生钱的那种。恨不得天天见到,可惜,未果。两年后,再次相见,却成了同班同学,空了许久的同桌的位置,成了这人的专属位置。季祁看他,就是一个普通的男同学。可是……这个男同学居然对她有非分之想?“楚同学,学校第一条校规不准早恋,请你正视。”“哦?是吗?我怎么不知道。”欲再争论,季祁最后的声音渐渐消失……经年流转,季祁最庆幸的一件事就是“缘分让我们相遇,和你携手共度一生是我最大的心愿,我爱你。”
  • 深空迷失

    深空迷失

    故事发生在公元2290年的地球,此时的联邦已经掌握了往外太空发展的科技,人类渴望能够寻找到地外生命的存在,向着外太空发射了无数电磁波以期得到智慧生命的回应,可是前来的却不是友善的地外生命,而是贪婪的智慧种族,被人类称作虫族,保卫太阳系的战争迫在眉睫。罗文的父亲是一名物理学家,神秘的消失在罗文10岁的时候,然而他也给罗文留下了一个东西--MIC芯片,而罗文10岁前的记忆也因此消失。为了找回记忆深处的梦境,罗文踏上了前往银河系银心的坎坷道路。。