"'It's this a-way: No, Nellie; thar's no female in it.This yere grows from a business transaction; an' the effort tharfrom to improve on present conditions, institoot a reign of law, an' lect a jedge.
"'Which the comin' of a miscreant named Cimmaron Pete, from some'ers over near the 'Doby Walls, is the beginnin' of the deal.This Cimmaron Pete comes trailin' in one day; an' a shorthorn called Glidden, who runs a store at the ford, comes ropin' at Cimmaron Pete to race ponies."'"What for stakes do you-all aim to race for?"demands this Cimmaron Pete.
"'"I'll run you for hoss an' saddle," says Glidden.
"'"Say hoss ag'in hoss," says Cimmaron Pete, "an' I'm liable to go you.Saddles is hard to get, an' I won't resk mine.Ponies, however, is easy.I can get 'em every moonlight night.""'When them sports is racin',--which the run is to be a quarter of a mile, only they never finishes,--jest as Cimmaron begins to pull ahead, his pony bein' a shade suddener than Glidden's, whatever does the latter do but rope this Cimmaron Pete's pony by the feet an'
down him.
"'It's shore fine work with a lariat, but it comes high for Glidden.
For, as he stampedes by, this Cimmaron turns loose his six-shooter from where he's tangled up with his bronco on the ground; an' as the first bullet gets Glidden in the back of his head, his light goes out like a candle.
"'When the committee looks into the play they jestifies this Cimmaron."While on the surface," they says, "the deal seems a little florid; still, when a gent armed with nothin' but a cold sense of jestice comes to pirootin' plumb through the affair with a lantern, he's due to emerge a lot with the conviction that Glidden's wrong." So Cimmaron is free in a minute.
"'But thar's Glidden's store! Thar's nobody to claim it; thar bein'
no fam'ly to Glidden nohow; not even a hired man.
"'"Which, as it seems to be a case open to doubt," observes this yere Cimmaron, "I nacherally takes this Glidden party's store an'
deals his game myse'f."
"'It ain't much of a store; an' bein' as the rest of us is havin'
all we-alls can ride herd on for ourse'fs, no gent makes objections, an' Cimmaron turns himse'f loose in Glidden's store, an' begins to sell things a whole lot.He's shorely doin' well, I reckons, when mebby it's a week later he comes chargin' over to a passel of us an'
allows he wants the committee to settle some trouble which has cut his trail.
"'"It's about the debts of this yere Glidden, deceased," says Cimmaron."I succeeds to the business of course; which it's little enough for departed ropin' my pony that time.But you-alls can gamble I ain't goin' 'way back on this yere dead person's trail, an'
settle all his gray an' hoary indebtnesses.Would it be right, gents? I puts it to you-alls on the squar'; do I immerse myse'f, I'd like for to be told, in deceased's liabilities merely for resentin'
of his wrongs ag'in me with my gun? If a gent can go blindly shootin' himse'f into bankruptcy that a-way, the American gov'ment is a rank loser, an' the State of Texas is plumb played out."When we-alls proceeds to ferret into this yere myst'ry, we finds thar's a sharp come up from Dallas who claims that Cimmaron's got to pay him what Glidden owes.This yere Dallas party puts said indebtednesses at five stacks of blues.
"'An' this yere longhorn's got 'em to make good, "says the Dallas sharp, p'intin' at Cimmaron, "'cause he inherits the store.""'Now, whatever do you-alls think of that?" says Cimmaron, appealin'
to us."Yere I've told this perverse sport that Glidden's done cashed in an' quit; an' now he lays for me with them indebtednesses.
It shorely wearies me."
"'It don't take the vig'lance committee no time to agree it ain't got nothin' to say in the case.
"'" It's only on killin's, an' hoss-rustlin's, an' sim'lar breaks."explains Old Monroe, who's chief of the Paloduro Stranglers, "where we-alls gets kyards.We ain't in on what's a mere open-an'-shet case of debt.""'But this Dallas sharp stays right with Cimmaron.He gives it out cold he's goin' to c'lect.He puts it up he'll shore sue Cimmaron a lot.
"'You-alls don't mean to say thar ain't no jedge yere?" remarks the Dallas sharp, when Old Monroe explains we ain't organized none for sech games as law cases."Well, this yere Plaza Paloduro is for certain the locodest camp of which I ever cuts the trail! You-alls better get a hustle on right now an' 'lect a jedge.If I goes back to Dallas an' tells this story of how you-alls ain't got no jedge nor no law yere, they won't let this Plaza Paloduro get close enough to 'em in business to hand 'em a ripe peach.If thar's enough sense in this camp to make bakin'-powder biscuit, you-alls will have a jedge 'lected ready for me to have law cases with by second-drink time to-morrow mornin'.""'After hangin' up this bluff the Dallas sharp, puttin' on a heap of hawtoor an' dog, walks over to the tavern ag'in, an' leaves us to size up the play at our lcesure.
