`I'll take care, sir,' rejoined Tacker. `Oh! Mrs. Gamp's below, and wants to speak to you.'
`Tell Mrs. Gamp to come up-stairs,' said Mould. `Now Mrs. Gamp, what's your news?'
The lady in question was by this time in the doorway, curtseying to Mrs. Mould. At the same moment a peculiar fragrance was borne upon the breeze, as if a passing fairy had hiccoughed, and had previously been to a wine-vaults.
Mrs. Gamp made no response to Mr. Mould, but curtseyed to Mrs. Mould again, and held up her hands and eyes, as in a devout thanksgiving that she looked so well. She was neatly, but not gaudily attired, in the weeds she had worn when Mr. Pecksniff had the pleasure of ****** her acquaintance; and was perhaps the turning of a scale more snuffy.
`There are some happy creeturs,' Mrs. Gamp observed, `as time runs back'ards with, and you are one, Mrs. Mould; not that he need do nothing except use you in his most owldacious way for years to come, I'm sure; for young you are and will be. I says to Mrs. Harris,' Mrs. Gamp continued, `only t'other day; the last Monday evening fortnight as ever dawned upon this Piljian's Projiss of a mortal wale; I says to Mrs. Harris when she says to me, "Years and our trials, Mrs. Gamp, sets marks upon us all." -- "Say not the words, Mrs. Harris, if you and me is to be continual friends, for sech is not the case. Mrs. Mould," I says, ****** so free, I will confess, as use the name,' (she curtseyed here,) `"is one of them that goes agen the obserwation straight; and never, Mrs. Harris, whilst I've a drop of breath to draw, will I set by, and not stand up, don't think it." -- "I ast your pardon, ma'am," says Mrs. Harris, "and I humbly grant your grace; for if ever a woman lived as would see her feller creeturs into fits to serve her friends, well do I know that woman's name is Sairey Gamp."'
At this point she was fain to stop for breath; and advantage may be taken of the circumstance, to state that a fearful mystery surrounded this lady of the name of Harris, whom no one in the circle of Mrs. Gamp's acquaintance had ever seen; neither did any human being know her place of residence, though Mrs. Gamp appeared on her own showing to be in constant communication with her. There were conflicting rumours on the subject; but the prevalent opinion was that she was a phantom of Mrs. Gamp's brain -- as Messrs. Doe and Roe are fictions of the law -- created for the express purpose of holding visionary dialogues with her on all manner of subjects, and invariably winding up with a compliment to the excellence of her nature.
`And likeways what a pleasure,' said Mrs. Gamp, turning with a tearful smile towards the daughters, `to see them two young ladies as I know'd afore a tooth in their pretty heads was cut, and have many a day seen -- ah, the sweet creeturs! -- playing at berryins down in the shop, and follerin' the order-book to its long home in the iron safe! But that's all past and over, Mr. Mould;' as she thus got in a carefully regulated routine to that gentleman, she shook her head waggishly; `That's all past and over now, sir, an't it?'
`Changes, Mrs. Gamp, changes!' returned the undertaker.
`More changes too, to come, afore we've done with changes, sir,' said Mrs. Gamp, nodding yet more waggishly than before. `Young ladies with such faces thinks of something else besides berryins, don't they, sir?'
`I am sure I don't know, Mrs. Gamp,' said Mould, with a chuckle -- `Not bad in Mrs. Gamp, my dear?'
`Oh yes, you do know, sir!' said Mrs. Gamp, `and so does Mrs. Mould, your ansome pardner too, sir; and so do I, although the blessing of a daughter was deniged me; which, if we had had one, Gamp would certainly have drunk its little shoes right off its feet, as with our precious boy he did, and arterwards send the child a errand to sell his wooden leg for any money it would fetch as matches in the rough, and bring it home in liquor: which was truly done beyond his years, for ev'ry individgle penny that child lost at toss or buy for kidney ones; and come home afterwards quite bold, to break the news, and offering to drown himself if that would be a satisfaction to his parents. -- Oh yes, you do know, sir,' said Mrs. Gamp, wiping her eye with her shawl, and resuming the thread of her discourse. `There's something besides births and berryins in the newspapers, an't there, Mr. Mould?'
Mr. Mould winked at Mrs. Mould, whom he had by this time taken on his knee, and said: `No doubt. A good deal more, Mrs. Gamp. Upon my life, Mrs.
Gamp is very far from bad, my dear!'
`There's marryings, an't there, sir?' said Mrs. Gamp, while both the daughters blushed and tittered. `Bless their precious hearts, and well they knows it! Well you know'd it too, and well did Mrs. Mould, when you was at their time of life! But my opinion is, you're all of one age now.
For as to you and Mrs. Mould, sir, ever having grandchildren --'
`Oh! Fie, fie! Nonsense, Mrs. Gamp,' replied the undertaker. `Devilish smart, though. Ca-pi-tal!' This was in a whisper. `My dear' -- aloud again -- `Mrs. Gamp can drink a glass of rum, I dare say. Sit down, Mrs. Gamp, sit down.'
Mrs. Gamp took the chair that was nearest the door, and casting up her eyes towards the ceiling, feigned to be wholly insensible to the fact of a glass of rum being in preparation, until it was placed in her hand by one of the young ladies, when she exhibited the greatest surprise.
`A thing,' she said, `as hardly ever, Mrs. Mould, occurs with me unless it is when I am indispoged, and find my half a pint of porter settling heavy on the chest. Mrs. Harris often and often says to me, "Sairey Gamp," she says, "you raly do amaze me!" "Mrs. Harris," I says to her, "why so?
