登陆注册
37884800000163

第163章 FIVE 1938-1953 FEE(26)

He stayed talking to Mrs. Smith and the maids for a long time. They had grown much older in the years since he had left, but somehow age suited them more than it did Fee. Happy. That's what they were. Genuinely almost perfectly happy. Poor Fee, who wasn't happy. It made him hungry to see Meggie, see if she was happy. But when he left the cookhouse Meggie wasn't back, so to fill in time he strolled through the grounds toward the creek. How peaceful the cemetery was; there were six bronze plaques on the mausoleum wall, just as there had been last time. He must see that he himself was buried here; he must remember to instruct them, when he returned to Rome. Near the mausoleum he noticed two new graves, old Tom, the garden rouseabout, and the wife of one of the stockmen, who had been on the payroll since 1946. Must be some sort of record. Mrs. Smith thought he was still with them because his wife lay here. The Chinese cook's ancestral umbrella was quite faded from all the years of fierce sun, had dwindled from its original imperial red through the various shades he remembered to its present whitish pink, almost ashes of roses. Meggie, Meggie. You went back to him after me, you bore him a son. It was very hot; a little wind came, stirred the weeping willows along the creek, made the bells on the Chinese cook's umbrella chime their mournful tinny tune: Hee Sing, Hee Sing, Hee Sing. TANKSTAND CHARLIE HE WAS A GOOD BLOKE. That had faded, too, was practically indecipherable. Well, it was fitting. Graveyards ought to sink back into the bosom of Mother Earth, lose their human cargo under a wash of time, until it all was gone and only the air remembered, sighing. He didn't want to be buried in a Vatican crypt, among men like himself. Here, among people who had really lived. Turning, his eyes caught the glaucous glance of the marble angel. He raised his hand, saluted it, looked across the grass toward the big house. And she was coming, Meggie. Slim, golden, in a pair of breeches and a white man's shirt exactly like his own, a man's grey felt hat on the back of her head, tan boots on her feet. Like a boy, like her son, who should have been his son.

He was a man, but when he too lay here there would be nothing left living to mark the fact.

She came on, stepped over the white fence, came so close all he could see were her eyes, those grey, light-filled eyes which hadn't lost their beauty or their hold over his heart. Her arms were around his neck, his fate again within his touch, it was as if he had never been away from her, that mouth alive under his, not a dream; so long wanted, so long. A different kind of sacrament, dark like the earth, having nothing to do with the sky. "Meggie, Meggie," he said, his face in her hair, her hat on the grass, his arms around her.

"It doesn't seem to matter, does it? Nothing ever changes," she said, eyes closed..

"No, nothing changes," he said, believing it. "This is Drogheda, Ralph. I warned you, on Drogheda you're mine, not God's."

"I know. I admit it. But I came." He drew her down onto the grass. "Why, Meggie?"

"Why what?" Her hand was stroking his hair, whiter than Fee's now, still thick, still beautiful.

"Why did you go back to Luke? Have his son?" he asked jealously. Her soul looked out from behind its lucent grey windows and veiled its thoughts from him. "He forced me to," she said blandly. "It was only once. But I had Dane, so I'm not sorry. Dane was worth everything I went through to get him."

"I'm sorry, I had no right to ask. I gave you to Luke in the first place, didn't I?"

"That's true, you did."

"He's a wonderful boy. Does he look like Luke?" She smiled secretly, plucked at the grass, laid her hand inside his shirt, against his chest. "Not really. Neither of my children looks very much like Luke, or me."

"I love them because they're yours."

"You're as sentimental as ever. Age suits you, Ralph.

I knew it would, I hoped I'd have the chance to see it. Thirty years I've known you! It seems like thirty days."

"Thirty years? As many as that?"

"I'm forty-one, my dear, so it must be." She got to her feet. "I was officially sent to summon you inside. Mrs. Smith is laying on a splendid tea in your honor, and later on when it's a bit cooler there's to be roast leg of pork, with lots of crackling."

He began to walk with her, slowly. "Your son laughs just like you, Meggie. His laugh was the first human noise I heard on Drogheda. I thought he was you; I went to find you and I discovered him instead."

"So he was the first person you saw on Drogheda."

"Why, yes, I suppose he was."

"What did you think of him, Ralph?" she asked eagerly. "I liked him. How could I not, when he's your son? But I was attracted to him very strongly, far more so than to your daughter. She doesn't like me, either."

"Justine might be my child, but she's a prize *****. I've learned to swear in my old age, mostly thanks to Justine. And you, a little. And Luke, a little. And the war, a little. Funny how they all mount up."

"You've changed a lot, Meggie."

"Have I?" The soft, full mouth curved into a smile. "I don't think so, really. It's just the Great Northwest, wearing me down, stripping off the layers like Salome's seven veils. Or like an onion, which is how Justine would rather put it. No poetry, that child. I'm the same old Meggie, Ralph, only more naked."

"Perhaps so."

"Ali, but you've changed, Ralph."

"In what way, my Meggie?"

"As if the pedestal rocks with every passing breeze, and as if the view from up there is a disappointment."

"It is." He laughed soundlessly. "And to think I once had the temerity to say you weren't anything out of the ordinary! I take it back. You're the one woman, Meggie. The one!" "What happened?"

"I don't know. Did I discover even Church idols have feet of clay? Did I sell myself for a mess of pottage? Am I grasping at nothing?" His brows drew together, as if in pain. "And that's it, perhaps, in a nutshell. I'm a mass of clichés. It's an old, sour, petrified world, the Vatican world." "I was more real, but you could never see it."

同类推荐
  • 白华山人诗说

    白华山人诗说

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 太极图说述解

    太极图说述解

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 续古尊宿语要

    续古尊宿语要

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 金刚般若经集验记

    金刚般若经集验记

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 律学发轫

    律学发轫

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
热门推荐
  • 探索未知丛书-美术沙龙

    探索未知丛书-美术沙龙

    探索未知,追求新知,创造未来。本丛书包括:地理世界、动物乐园、海洋与天空、化学天地、计算机王国、历史趣闻、美术沙龙、农业科学、少年楷模、物理城堡、艺术天地、音乐之声、幼儿教育、语文大观、植物之谜、走遍天下、祖国在我心中等书籍。
  • 抗日之黑龙港风云录

    抗日之黑龙港风云录

    在渤海之滨有一个黑龙港,在黑龙港里有一群武艺高强的绿林豪强!相当年,当日寇的铁蹄践踏到这一方热土的时候,抗日烽火把他们卷进了刀光剑影的杀敌战场!为了挽救民族危亡,他们与共产党人义结金兰,同仇敌忾,同日本侵略军展开了殊死的浴血拼杀,谱写出了一曲曲可歌可泣的抗日壮歌。——其间风云变幻,跌宕起伏!欲知后事如何,请看抗日传奇小说《抗日之黑龙港风云录》……
  • 我家凶兽超萌哒

    我家凶兽超萌哒

    【日常丶萌系】白开水一脸冷酷:“我是鸽杀手,我莫得感情。”白果缩脖子:“师父好凶!”白开水哼了声,昂头:“作为饕餮,不凶怎么成为上古凶兽!”白果对手指:“可是,我肚子饿!”白开水恨铁不成钢,恶狠狠:“带你蹭饭去!”
  • 夜半鬼事

    夜半鬼事

    刚出山的阴阳先生林奇,为人消灭了几只小鬼而被称为大师。引来无数的鬼怪等门造访,且看一个半吊子阴阳先生林奇如何和那些怨气滔天的吊死鬼,无头鬼斗法。一次次死里逃生的搞笑故事。
  • 天行

    天行

    号称“北辰骑神”的天才玩家以自创的“牧马冲锋流”战术击败了国服第一弓手北冥雪,被誉为天纵战榜第一骑士的他,却受到小人排挤,最终离开了效力已久的银狐俱乐部。是沉沦,还是再次崛起?恰逢其时,月恒集团第四款游戏“天行”正式上线,虚拟世界再起风云!
  • 老公,抱紧我!

    老公,抱紧我!

    华夏第一权贵慕公子闪婚了,对象是个落魄千金。结婚第一天,他就对貌美如花的小妻子,说了三个不许。“不许说出我们的关系!”“不许乱碰我的东西!”“不许出现在我的视线之内!”然而婚后的慕公子自己居然一项都没有做到过,他每天都会努力的在她面前出现一、二、三、四、五、六……七八次!突然有一天,他意外的发现了一个惊人的大秘密,原来他的小妻子根本就不是人,而是……【本文无一夜情,无失忆,无车祸,一对一宠文】
  • 快穿之迷梦乐园

    快穿之迷梦乐园

    游乐园为什么没有游客?年纪轻轻的人为什么总是做梦?这一切的背后到底是道德的沦丧,还是人性的扭曲?欢迎收看走进科……快穿之迷梦乐园栏目,你想要的答案里面都有。许笙莫名其妙到了一个奇奇怪怪的游乐园,小丑非要她玩一个游戏,不玩不让走。
  • 爱情会捣蛋

    爱情会捣蛋

    初恋的失败,让乖乖的林梦夕性情大变,成为学校里的逃学女王,与学生会主席潘成恩,烽火连天。场场厮杀以后,而潘成恩居然爱上叛逆的林梦夕,发誓,一定要进林梦夕的内心,渗进他滚烫的心跳,在林梦夕平静的心湖里泛起涟漪……
  • 旅伴

    旅伴

    梦境中的我也并非单独前行,在梦境中不以我的冷漠而无私给予我温暖的人们,谢谢你们。即使梦境的记忆消抹殆尽,因由你们,铭刻于心的温暖唤醒了我的复仇,我将与复仇并肩,我的旅伴······
  • 我的人生必须精彩

    我的人生必须精彩

    只想认认真真谈恋爱的唐昊,只可惜老天爷作弄,搞出各种事情的书,我唐昊可是古今第一奇男子,想了解我嘛?