His hostess asked him a great many questions about himself, but on this subject he was an indifferent talker.
He was not what is called subjective, though when he felt that her interest was sincere, he made an almost heroic attempt to be.
He told her a great many things he had done, and regaled her with anecdotes of Western life; she was from Philadelphia, and with her eight years in Paris, talked of herself as a languid Oriental.But some other person was always the hero of the tale, by no means always to his advantage;and Newman's own emotions were but scantily chronicled.
She had an especial wish to know whether he had ever been in love--seriously, passionately--and, failing to gather any satisfaction from his allusions, she at last directly inquired.
He hesitated a while, and at last he said, "No!" She declared that she was delighted to hear it, as it confirmed her private conviction that he was a man of no feeling.
"Really?" he asked, very gravely."Do you think so?
How do you recognize a man of feeling?"
"I can't make out," said Mrs.Tristram, "whether you are very ****** or very deep.""I'm very deep.That's a fact."
"I believe that if I were to tell you with a certain air that you have no feeling, you would implicitly believe me.""A certain air?" said Newman."Try it and see.""You would believe me, but you would not care," said Mrs.Tristram.
"You have got it all wrong.I should care immensely, but I shouldn't believe you.The fact is I have never had time to feel things.
I have had to DO them, to make myself felt.""I can imagine that you may have done that tremendously, sometimes.""Yes, there's no mistake about that."
"When you are in a fury it can't be pleasant.""I am never in a fury."
"Angry, then, or displeased."
"I am never angry, and it is so long since I have been displeased that I have quite forgotten it.""I don't believe," said Mrs.Tristram, "that you are never angry.
A man ought to be angry sometimes, and you are neither good enough nor bad enough always to keep your temper.""I lose it perhaps once in five years."
"The time is coming round, then," said his hostess.
"Before I have known you six months I shall see you in a fine fury.""Do you mean to put me into one?"
"I should not be sorry.You take things too coolly.
It exasperates me.And then you are too happy.You have what must be the most agreeable thing in the world, the consciousness of having bought your pleasure beforehand and paid for it.
You have not a day of reckoning staring you in the face.
Your reckonings are over."
"Well, I suppose I am happy," said Newman, meditatively.
"You have been odiously successful."
"Successful in copper," said Newman, "only so-so in railroads, and a hopeless fizzle in oil.""It is very disagreeable to know how Americans have made their money.
Now you have the world before you.You have only to enjoy.""Oh, I suppose I am very well off," said Newman."Only I am tired of having it thrown up at me.Besides, there are several drawbacks.
I am not intellectual."
"One doesn't expect it of you," Mrs.Tristram answered.
Then in a moment, "Besides, you are!"
"Well, I mean to have a good time, whether or no," said Newman.
"I am not cultivated, I am not even educated; I know nothing about history, or art, or foreign tongues, or any other learned matters.
But I am not a fool, either, and I shall undertake to know something about Europe by the time I have done with it.
I feel something under my ribs here," he added in a moment, "that I can't explain--a sort of a mighty hankering, a desire to stretch out and haul in.""Bravo!" said Mrs.Tristram, "that is very fine.
You are the great Western Barbarian, stepping forth in his innocence and might, gazing a while at this poor effete Old World and then swooping down on it.""Oh, come," said Newman."I am not a barbarian, by a good deal.
I am very much the reverse.I have seen barbarians;I know what they are."
"I don't mean that you are a Comanche chief, or that you wear a blanket and feathers.There are different shades.""I am a highly civilized man," said Newman."I stick to that.
If you don't believe it, I should like to prove it to you."Mrs.Tristram was silent a while."I should like to make you prove it,"she said, at last."I should like to put you in a difficult place.""Pray do," said Newman.
"That has a little conceited sound!" his companion rejoined.
"Oh," said Newman, "I have a very good opinion of myself.""I wish I could put it to the test.Give me time and I will."And Mrs.Tristram remained silent for some time afterwards, as if she was trying to keep her pledge.It did not appear that evening that she succeeded; but as he was rising to take his leave she passed suddenly, as she was very apt to do, from the tone of unsparing persiflage to that of almost tremulous sympathy.
"Speaking seriously," she said, "I believe in you, Mr.Newman.
You flatter my patriotism."
"Your patriotism?" Christopher demanded.
"Even so.It would take too long to explain, and you probably would not understand.Besides, you might take it--really, you might take it for a declaration.But it has nothing to do with you personally;it's what you represent.Fortunately you don't know all that, or your conceit would increase insufferably."Newman stood staring and wondering what under the sun he "represented.""Forgive all my meddlesome chatter and forget my advice.
It is very silly in me to undertake to tell you what to do.
When you are embarrassed, do as you think best, and you will do very well.
When you are in a difficulty, judge for yourself.""I shall remember everything you have told me," said Newman.
"There are so many forms and ceremonies over here--""Forms and ceremonies are what I mean, of course.""Ah, but I want to observe them," said Newman.
"Haven't I as good a right as another? They don't scare me, and you needn't give me leave to violate them.
I won't take it."
"That is not what I mean.I mean, observe them in your own way.
Settle nice questions for yourself.Cut the knot or untie it, as you choose.""Oh, I am sure I shall never fumble over it!" said Newman.
