"You've made your decision?"
He nodded with a peculiar forward movement of his head.
"How would you put it?"
"Social Service--education.Whatever else matters or doesn't matter, it seems to me there is one thing we MUST have and increase, and that is the number of people who can think a little--and have "--he beamed again--" an adequate sense of causation.""You're sure it's worth while."
"For me--certainly.I don't discuss that any more.""I don't limit myself too narrowly," he added."After all, the work is all one.We who know, we who feel, are building the great modern state, joining wall to wall and way to way, the new great England rising out of the decaying old...we are the real statesmen--Ilike that use of 'statesmen.'..."
"Yes," I said with many doubts."Yes, of course...."Willersley is middle-aged now, with silver in his hair and a deepening benevolence in his always amiable face, and he has very fairly kept his word.He has lived for social service and to do vast masses of useful, undistinguished, fertilising work.Think of the days of arid administrative plodding and of contention still more arid and unrewarded, that he must have spent! His little affectations of gesture and manner, imitative affectations for the most part, have increased, and the humorous beam and the humorous intonations have become a thing he puts on every morning like an old coat.His devotion is mingled with a considerable whimsicality, and they say he is easily flattered by subordinates and easily offended into opposition by colleagues; he has made mistakes at times and followed wrong courses, still there he is, a flat contradiction to all the ordinary doctrine of motives, a man who has foregone any chances of wealth and profit, foregone any easier paths to distinction, foregone marriage and parentage, in order to serve the community.He does it without any fee or reward except his personal self-satisfaction in doing this work, and he does it without any hope of future joys and punishments, for he is an implacable Rationalist.No doubt he idealises himself a little, and dreams of recognition.No doubt he gets his pleasure from a sense of power, from the spending and husbanding of large sums of public money, and from the inevitable proprietorship he must feel in the fair, fine, well-ordered schools he has done so much to develop."But for me,"he can say, "there would have been a Job about those diagrams, and that subject or this would have been less ably taught."...
The fact remains that for him the rewards have been adequate, if not to content at any rate to keep him working.Of course he covets the notice of the world he has served, as a lover covets the notice of his mistress.Of course he thinks somewhere, somewhen, he will get credit.Only last year I heard some men talking of him, and they were noting, with little mean smiles, how he had shown himself self-conscious while there was talk of some honorary degree-giving or other; it would, I have no doubt, please him greatly if his work were to flower into a crimson gown in some Academic parterre.Why shouldn't it? But that is incidental vanity at the worst; he goes on anyhow.Most men don't.
But we had our walk twenty years and more ago now.He was oldish even then as a young man, just as he is oldish still in middle age.
Long may his industrious elderliness flourish for the good of the world! He lectured a little in conversation then; he lectures more now and listens less, toilsomely disentangling what you already understand, giving you in detail the data you know; these are things like callosities that come from a man's work.
Our long three weeks' talk comes back to me as a memory of ideas and determinations slowly growing, all mixed up with a smell of wood smoke and pine woods and huge precipices and remote gleams of snow-fields and the sound of cascading torrents rushing through deep gorges far below.It is mixed, too, with gossips with waitresses and fellow travellers, with my first essays in colloquial German and Italian, with disputes about the way to take, and other things that I will tell of in another section.But the white passion of human service was our dominant theme.Not simply perhaps nor altogether unselfishly, but quite honestly, and with at least a frequent self-forgetfulness, did we want to do fine and noble things, to help in their developing, to lessen misery, to broaden and exalt life.It is very hard--perhaps it is impossible--to present in a page or two the substance and quality of nearly a month's conversation, conversation that is casual and discursive in form, that ranges carelessly from triviality to immensity, and yet is constantly resuming a constructive process, as workmen on a wall loiter and jest and go and come back, and all the while build.
We got it more and more definite that the core of our purpose beneath all its varied aspects must needs be order and discipline.
"Muddle," said I, "is the enemy." That remains my belief to this day.Clearness and order, light and foresight, these things I know for Good.It was muddle had just given us all the still freshly painful disasters and humiliations of the war, muddle that gives us the visibly sprawling disorder of our cities and industrial country-side, muddle that gives us the waste of life, the limitations, wretchedness and unemployment of the poor.Muddle! I remember myself quoting Kipling--"All along o' dirtiness, all along o' mess, All along o' doin' things rather-more-or-less.""We build the state," we said over and over again."That is what we are for--servants of the new reorganisation!"We planned half in earnest and half Utopianising, a League of Social Service.
