He found he could utter prayers.But he could not pray.
"I am doomed eternally," he cried, "doomed, doomed."The organ of the convent church burst on his ear in rich and solemn harmony.
Then rose the voices of the choir chanting a full service.
Among them was one that seemed to hover above the others, and tower towards heaven; a sweet boy's voice, full, pure, angelic.
He closed his eyes and listened.The days of his own boyhood flowed back upon him in those sweet, pious harmonies.No earthly dross there, no foul, fierce passions, rending and corrupting the soul.
Peace, peace; sweet, balmy peace.
"Ay," he sighed, "the Church is peace of mind.Till I left her bosom I ne'er knew sorrow, nor sin.
And the poor torn, worn creature wept.
And even as he wept, there beamed on him the sweet and reverend face of one he had never thought to see again.It was the face of Father Anselm.
The good father had only reached the convent the night before last.Gerard recognized him in a moment, and cried to him, "Oh, Father Anselm, you cured my wounded body in Juliers: now cure my hurt soul in Rome! Alas, you cannot."Anselm sat down by the bedside, and putting a gentle hand on his head, first calmed him with a soothing word or two.
He then (for he had learned how Gerard came there) spoke to him kindly but solemnly, and made him feel his crime, and urged him to repentance, and gratitude to that Divine Power which had thwarted his will to save his soul.
"Come, my son," said he, "first purge thy bosom of its load.""Ah, father," said Gerard, "in Juliers I could; then I was innocent but now, impious monster that I am, I dare not confess to you.""Why not, my son? Thinkest thou I have not sinned against Heaven in my time, and deeply? oh, how deeply! Come, poor laden soul, pour forth thy grief, pour forth thy faults, hold back nought! Lie not oppressed and crushed by hidden sins."And soon Gerard was at Father Anselm's knees confessing his every sin with sighs and groans of penitence.
"Thy sins are great," said Anselm."Thy temptation also was great, terribly great.I must consult our good prior."The good Anselm kissed his brow, and left him, to consult the superior as to his penance.
And lo! Gerard could pray now.
And he prayed with all his heart.
The phase, through which this remarkable mind now passed, may be summed in a word - Penitence.
He turned with terror and aversion from the world, and begged passionately to remain in the convent.To him, convent nurtured, it was like a bird returning wounded, wearied, to its gentle nest.
He passed his novitiate in prayer, and mortification, and pious reading and meditation.
The Princess Claelia's spy went home and told her that Gerard was certainly dead, the manner of his death unknown at present.
She seemed literally stunned.When, after a long time, she found breath to speak at all, it was to bemoan her lot, cursed with such ready tools."So soon," she sighed; "see how swift these monsters are to do ill deeds.They come to us in our hot blood, and first tempt us with their venal daggers, then enact the mortal deeds we ne'er had thought on but for them."Ere many hours had passed, her pity for Gerard and hatred of his murderer had risen to fever heat; which with this fool was blood heat.
"Poor soul! I cannot call thee back to life.But he shall never live that traitorously slew thee."And she put armed men in ambush, and kept them on guard all day, ready, when Lodovico should come for his money, to fall on him in a certain antechamber and hack him to pieces.
"Strike at his head," said she, "for he weareth a privy coat of mail; and if he goes hence alive your own heads shall answer it.',And so she sat weeping her victim, and pulling the strings of machines to shed the blood of a second for having been her machine to kill the first.
