"You know,mother,how much joy and courage a look from your eyes,daily intercourse with you,and your pious and high-minded conversation,might bring me during my very short time.But you also know my position,and you are too well acquainted with the natural course of all these painful inquiries,not to feel as I do,that such annoyance,continually recurring,would greatly trouble the pleasure of our companionship,if it did not indeed succeed in entirely destroying it.Then,mother,after the long and fatiguing journey that you would be obliged to make in order to see me,think of the terrible sorrow of the farewell when the moment came to part in this world.Let us therefore abide by the sacrifice,according to God's will,and let us yield ourselves only to that sweet community of thought which distance cannot interrupt,in which I find my only joys,and which,in spite of men,will always be granted us by the Lord,our Father.
"As for my physical state,I knew nothing about it.You see,however,since at last I am writing to you myself,that I have come past my first uncertainties.As for the rest,I know too little of the structure of my own body to give any opinion as to what my wounds may determine for it.Except that a little strength has returned to me,its state is still the same,and I endure it calmly and patiently;for God comes to my help,and gives me courage and firmness.He will help me,believe me,to find all the joys of the soul and to be strong in mind.Amen.
"May you live happy!--Your deeply respectful son,KARL-LUDWIG SAND."A month after this letter came tender answers from all the family.
We will quote only that of Sand's mother,because it completes the idea which the reader may have formed already of this great-hearted woman,as her son always calls her.
"DEAR,INEXPRESSIBLY DEAR KARL,--How Sweet it was to me to see the writing of your beloved hand after so long a time!No journey would have been so painful and no road so long as to prevent me from coming to you,and I would go,in deep and infinite love,to any end of the earth in the mere hope of catching sight of you.
"But,as I well know both your tender affection and your profound anxiety for me,and as you give me,so firmly and upon such manly reflection,reasons against which I can say nothing,and which I can but honour,it shall be,my well-beloved Karl,as you have wished and decided.We will continue,without speech,to communicate our thoughts;but be satisfied,nothing can separate us;I enfold you in my soul,and my material thoughts watch over you.
"May this infinite love which upholds us,strengthens us,and leads us all to a better life,preserve,dear Karl,your courage and firmness.
"Farewell,and be invariably assured that I shall never cease to love you strongly and deeply.
"Your faithful mother,who loves you to eternity.
Sand replied:--
January 1820,from my isle of Patmos.
"MY DEAR PARENTS,BROTHERS,AND SISTERS,--
In the middle of the month of September last year I received,through the grand-duke's special commission of inquiry,whose humanity you have already appreciated,your dear letters of the end of August and the beginning of September,which had such magical influence that they inundated me with joy by transporting me into the inmost circle of your hearts.
"You,my tender father,you write to me on the sixty-seventh anniversary of your birth,and you bless me by the outpouring of your most tender love.
"You,my well-beloved mother,you deign to promise the continuance of your maternal affection,in which I have at all times constantly believed;and thus I have received the blessings of both of you,which,in my present position,will exercise a more beneficent influence upon me than any of the things that all the kings of the earth,united together,could grant me.Yes,you strengthen me abundantly by your blessed love,and I render thanks to you,my beloved parents,with that respectful submission that my heart will always inculcate as the first duty of a son.
"But the greater your love and the more affectionate your letters,the more do I suffer,I must acknowledge,from the voluntary sacrifice that we have imposed upon ourselves in not seeing one another;and the only reason,my dear parents,why I have delayed to reply to you,was to give myself time to recover the strength which I have lost.
"You too,dear brother-in-law and dear sister,assure me of your sincere and uninterrupted attachment.And yet,after the fright that I have spread among you all,you seem not to know exactly what to think of me;but my heart,full of gratitude for your past kindness,comforts itself ;for your actions speak and tell me that,even if you wished no longer to love me as I love you,you would not be able to do otherwise.These actions mean more to me at this hour than any possible protestations,nay,than even the tenderest words.
"And you also,my kind brother,you would have consented to hurry with our beloved mother to the shores of the Rhine,to this place where the real links of the soul were welded between us,where we were doubly brothers;but tell me,are you not really here,in thought and in spirit,when I consider the rich fountain of consolation brought me by your cordial and tender letter?
"And,you,kind sister-in-law,as you showed yourself from the first,in your delicate tenderness,a true sister,so I find you again at present.There are still the same tender relations,still the same sisterly affection;your consolations,which emanate from a deep and submissive piety,have fallen refreshingly into the depths of my heart.But,dear sister-in-law,I must tell you,as well as the others,that you are too liberal towards me in dispensing your esteem and praises,and your exaggeration has cast me back face to face with my inmost judge,who has shown me in the mirror of my conscience the image of my every weakness.
