"I--I noticed you 'adn't 'ad anything to eat, an' I spoke to Gumbly, an' he said you wasn't exactly cut off from supplies. So I brought up this. It's your potted 'am tin, ain't it, Mr. Corkran?""Why, Foxibus, you're a brick," said Stalky. "I didn't think you had this much--what's the word, Beetle?""Bowels," Beetle replied, promptly. "Thank you, Sergeant. That's young Carter's potted ham, though.""There was a C on it. I thought it was Mr. Corkran's. This is a very serious business, young gentlemen. That's what it is. I didn't know, perhaps, but there might be something on your side which you hadn't said to Mr. King or Mr. Prout, maybe.""There is. Heaps, Foxibus." This from Stalky through a full mouth.
"Then you see, if that was the case, it seemed to me I might represent it, quiet so to say, to the 'Ead when he asks me about it. I've got to take 'im the charges to-night, an'--it looks bad on the face of it.""'Trocious bad, Foxy. Twenty-seven cuts in the Gym before all the school, and public expulsion. 'Wine is a mocker, strong drink is ragin','" quoth Beetle.
"It's nothin' to make fun of, young gentlemen. I 'ave to go to the 'Ead with the charges. An'--an' you mayn't be aware, per'aps, that I was followin' you this afternoon; havin' my suspicions.""Did ye see the notice-boards?" croaked McTurk, in the very brogue of Colonel Dabney.
"Ye've eyes in your head. Don't attempt to deny it. Ye did!" said Beetle.
"A sergeant! To run about poachin' on your pension! Damnable, O damnable!" said Stalky, without pity.
"Good Lord!" said the Sergeant, sitting heavily upon a bed. "Where--where the devil _was_ you? I might ha' known it was a do--somewhere.""Oh, you clever maniac!" Stalky resumed. "We mayn't be aware you were followin' us this afternoon, mayn't we? 'Thought you were stalkin' us, eh? Why, we led you bung into it, of course. Colonel Dabney--don't you think he's a nice man, Foxy?--Colonel Dabney's our pet particular friend. We've been goin' there for weeks and weeks, he invited us. You and your duty! Curse your duty, sir! Your duty was to keep off his covers.""You'll never be able to hold up your head again, Foxy. The fags 'll hoot at you,"said Beetle.
"Think of your giddy prestige!" The Sergeant was thinking--hard.
"Look 'ere, young gentlemen," he said, earnestly. "You aren't surely ever goin' to tell, are you? Wasn't Mr. Prout and Mr. King in--in it too?""Foxibusculus, they _was_. They was--singular horrid. Caught it worse than you. We heard every word of it. You got off easy, considerin'. If I'd been Dabney I swear I'd ha' quodded you. I think I'll suggest it to him to-morrow.""An' it's all goin' up to the 'Ead. Oh, Good Lord!""Every giddy word of it, my Chingangook," said Beetle, dancing. "Why shouldn't it?
_We've_ done nothing wrong. _We_ ain't poachers. _We_ didn't cut about blastin' the characters of poor, innocent boys--saying they were drunk.""That I didn't," said Foxy. "I--I only said that you be'aved uncommon odd when you come back with that badger. Mr. King may have taken the wrong hint from that.""'Course he did; an' he'll jolly well shove all the blame on you when he finds out he's wrong. We know King, if you don't. I'm ashamed of you. You ain't fit to be a sergeant," said McTurk.
"Not with three thorough-goin' young devils like you, I ain't. I've been had. I've been ambuscaded. Horse, foot, an' guns, I've been had, an'--an' there'll be no holdin' the junior forms after this. M'rover, the 'Ead will send me with a note to Colonel Dabney to ask if what you say about bein' invited was true.""Then you'd better go in by the Lodge-gates this time, instead of chasin' your dam'
boys--oh, that was the Epistle to King--so it was. We-el, Foxy?" Stalky put his chin on his hands and regarded the victim with deep delight.
"_Ti-ra-la-la-i-tu_! I gloat! Hear me!" said McTurk. "Foxy brought us tea when we were moral lepers. Foxy has a heart. Foxy has been in the Army, too.""I wish I'd ha' had you in my company, young gentlemen," said the Sergeant from the depths of his heart; "I'd ha' given you something.""Silence at drum-head court-martial," McTurk went on. "I'm advocate for the prisoner; and, besides, this is much too good to tell all the other brutes in the Coll. They'd _never_ understand. They play cricket, and say: 'Yes sir,' and 'O, sir,' and 'No, sir.'""Never mind that. Go ahead," said Stalky.
"Well, Foxy's a good little chap when he does not esteem himself so as to be clever.""'Take not out your 'ounds on a werry windy day,'" Stalky struck in. "_I_ don't care if you let him off.""Nor me," said Beetle. "Heffy is my only joy--Heffy and King.""I 'ad to do it," said the Sergeant, plaintively.
"Right, O! Led away by bad companions in the execution of his duty or--or words to that effect. You're dismissed with a reprimand, Foxy. _We_ won't tell about _you_. Iswear we won't," McTurk concluded. "Bad for the discipline of the school. Horrid bad.""Well," said the Sergeant, gathering up the tea-things, "knowin' what I know o' the young dev--gentlemen of the College, I'm very glad to 'ear it. But what am I to tell the 'Ead?""Anything you jolly well please, Foxy. We aren't the criminals."To say that the Head was annoyed when the Sergeant appeared after dinner with the day's crime-sheet would be putting it mildly.
"Corkran, McTurk, and Co., I see. Bounds as usual. Hullo! What the deuce is this?
Suspicion of drinking. Whose charge??"
"Mr. King's, sir. I caught 'em out of bounds, sir: at least that was 'ow it looked.
But there's a lot be'ind, sir." The Sergeant was evidently troubled.
