"That's rummy," said McTurk, as a snore mixed with a sob. "'Cheek, _I_ think; or else he's shammin'.""No, 'tisn't," said Beetle. "'When 'Molly' Fairburn had attended to me for an hour or so I used to go bung off to sleep on a form sometimes. Poor devil! But he called me a beastly poet, though.""Well, come on." Stalky lowered his voice. "Good-by, Campbell. 'Member, if you don't talk, nobody will."There should have been a war-dance, but that all three were so utterly tired that they almost went to sleep above the tea-cups in their study, and slept till prep.
"A most extraordinary letter. Are all parents incurably mad? What do you make of it?" said the Head, handing a closely written eight pages to the Reverend John.
"'The only son of his mother, and she a widow.' That is the least reasonable sort."The chaplain read with pursed lips. "If half those charges are true he should be in the sick-house; whereas he is disgustingly well. Certainly he has shaved. I noticed that.""Under compulsion, as his mother points out. How delicious! How salutary!""You haven't to answer her. It isn't often I don't know what has happened in the school; but this is beyond me.""If you asked me I should say seek not to propitiate. When one is forced to take crammers' pups--""He was perfectly well at extra-tuition--with me--this morning," said the Head, absently. "Unusually well behaved, too.""--they either educate the school, or the school, as in this case, educates them. Iprefer our own methods," the chaplain concluded.
"You think it was that?" A lift of the Head's eyebrow.
"I'm sure of it! And nothing excuses his trying to give the College a bad name.""That's the line I mean to take with him," the Head answered.
The Augurs winked.
A few days later the Reverend John called on Number Five. "Why haven't we seen you before, Padre?" said they.
"I've been watching times and seasons and events and men--and boys," he replied. "Iam pleased with my Tenth Legion. I make them my compliments. Clewer was throwing ink-balls in form this morning, instead of doing his work. He is now doing fifty lines for--unheard-of audacity.""You can't blame us, sir," said Beetle. "You told us to remove the--er--pressure.
That's the worst of a fag."
"I've known boys five years his senior throw ink-balls, Beetle. To such an one have I given two hundred lines--not so long ago. And now I come to think of it, were those lines ever shown up?""Were they, Turkey?' said Beetle unblushingly.
"Don't you think Clewer looks a little cleaner, Padre?" Stalky interrupted.
"We're no end of moral reformers," said McTurk.
"It was all Stalky, but it was a lark," said Beetle.
"I have noticed the moral reform in several quarters. Didn't I tell you you had more influence than any boys in the Coll. if you cared to use it?""It's a trifle exhaustin' to use frequent--our kind of moral suasion. Besides, you see, it only makes Clewer cheeky.""I wasn't thinking of Clewer; I was thinking of--the other people, Stalky.""Oh, we didn't bother much about the other people," said McTurk. "Did we?""But _I_ did--from the beginning."
"Then you knew, sir?"
A downward puff of smoke. "Boys educate each other, they say, more than we can or dare. If I had used one half of the moral suasion you may or may not have employed--""With the best motives in the world. Don't forget our pious motives, Padre," said McTurk.
"I suppose I should be now languishing in Bideford jail, shouldn't I? Well, to quote the Head, in a little business which we have agreed to forget, that strikes me as flagrant injustice ... What are you laughing at, you young sinners? Isn't it true? Iwill not stay to be shouted at. What I looked into this den of iniquity for was to find out if any one cared to come down for a bathe off the Ridge. But I see you won't.""Won't we, though! Half a shake, Padre Sahib, till we get our towels, and _nous_sommes_avec_vous_!"
