登陆注册
34499900000029

第29章

BY MR. M. A. TITMARSH

PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION:

BEING AN ESSAY ON THUNDER AND SMALL BEER.

Any reader who may have a fancy to purchase a copy of this present edition of the "History of the Kickleburys Abroad," had best be warned in time, that the Times newspaper does not approve of the work, and has but a bad opinion both of the author and his readers.

Nothing can be fairer than this statement: if you happen to take up the poor little volume at a railroad station, and read this sentence, lay the book down, and buy something else. You are warned. What more can the author say? If after this you WILLbuy,--amen! pay your money, take your book, and fall to. Between ourselves, honest reader, it is no very strong potation which the present purveyor offers to you. It will not trouble your head much in the drinking. It was intended for that sort of negus which is offered at Christmas parties and of which ladies and children may partake with refreshment and cheerfulness. Last year I tried a brew which was old, bitter, and strong; and scarce any one would drink it. This year we send round a milder tap, and it is liked by customers: though the critics (who like strong ale, the rogues!)turn up their noses. In heaven's name, Mr. Smith, serve round the liquor to the gentle-folks. Pray, dear madam, another glass; it is Christmas time, it will do you no harm. It is not intended to keep long, this sort of drink. (Come, froth up, Mr. Publisher, and pass quickly round!) And as for the professional gentlemen, we must get a stronger sort for THEM some day.

The Times' gentleman (a very difficult gent to please) is the loudest and noisiest of all, and has made more hideous faces over the refreshment offered to him than any other critic. There is no use shirking this statement! when a man has been abused in the Times, he can't hide it, any more than he could hide the knowledge of his having been committed to prison by Mr. Henry, or publicly caned in Pall Mall. You see it in your friends' eyes when they meet you. They know it. They have chuckled over it to a man.

They whisper about it at the club, and look over the paper at you.

My next-door neighbor came to see me this morning, and I saw by his face that he had the whole story pat. "Hem!" says he, "well, IHAVE heard of it; and the fact is, they were talking about you at dinner last night, and mentioning that the Times had--ahem!--'walked into you.'"

"My good M----" I say--and M---- will corroborate, if need be, the statement I make here--"here is the Times' article, dated January 4th, which states so and so, and here is a letter from the publisher, likewise dated January 4th, and which says:--"MY DEAR Sir,--Having this day sold the last copy of the first edition (of x thousand) of the 'Kickleburys Abroad,' and having orders for more, had we not better proceed to a second edition? and will you permit me to enclose an order on," &c. &c.?

Singular coincidence! And if every author who was so abused by a critic had a similar note from a publisher, good Lord! how easily would we take the critic's censure!

"Yes, yes," you say; "it is all very well for a writer to affect to be indifferent to a critique from the Times. You bear it as a boy bears a flogging at school, without crying out; but don't swagger and brag as if you liked it."Let us have truth before all. I would rather have a good word than a bad one from any person: but if a critic abuses me from a high place, and it is worth my while, I will appeal. If I can show that the judge who is delivering sentence against me, and laying down the law and ****** a pretence of learning, has no learning and no law, and is neither more nor less than a pompous noodle, who ought not to be heard in any respectable court, I will do so; and then, dear friends, perhaps you will have something to laugh at in this book.--"THE KICKLEBURYS ABROAD.

"It has been customary, of late years, for the purveyors of amusing literature--the popular authors of the day--to put forth certain opuscules, denominated 'Christmas Books,' with the ostensible intention of swelling the tide of exhilaration, or other expansive emotions, incident upon the exodus of the old and the inauguration of the new year. We have said that their ostensible intention was such, because there is another motive for these productions, locked up (as the popular author deems) in his own breast, but which betrays itself, in the quality of the work, as his principal incentive. Oh! that any muse should be set upon a high stool to cast up accounts and balance a ledger! Yet so it is; and the popular author finds it convenient to fill up the declared deficit, and place himself in a position the more effectually to encounter those liabilities which sternly assert themselves contemporaneously and in contrast with the careless and free-handed tendencies of the season by the emission of Christmas books--a kind of literary assignats, representing to the emitter expunged debts, to the receiver an investment of enigmatical value. For the most part bearing the stamp of their origin in the vacuity of the writer's exchequer rather than in the fulness of his genius, they suggest by their feeble flavor the rinsings of a void brain after the more important concoctions of the expired year. Indeed, we should as little think of taking these compositions as examples of the merits of their authors as we should think of measuring the valuable services of Mr. Walker, the postman, or Mr. Bell, the dust-collector, by the copy of verses they leave at our doors as a provocative of the expected annual gratuity--effusions with which they may fairly be classed for their intrinsic worth no less than their ultimate purport.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 夏花,多么绚烂

    夏花,多么绚烂

    他,原以为她和自己永远就这样有着关系。他,从一开始,不知以何种身份与她相处,他不愿他们以这种关系,从此互相存在着·········她,原以为他和自己永远就这样有着剪不断的关系。却叹,世事难料,有什么事是恒古不变的呢?大概,只有天知道··········
  • 恋你偏执成瘾

    恋你偏执成瘾

    好像爱一个人没有什么理由。林颜深爱着傅琛之,即使他从骨子里就厌恶她。在傅琛之眼中她从始至终就是一个卑劣自私的人,可在林颜的眼里他曾是照亮她全世界的光。林颜有时想,也许当第一次遇到他时,她就已经沦陷了。即使他不爱她,即使他把她贬的一文不值,只要能在他身边陪着他就够了。可到最后她也坚持不下去了,她想放手离开了。傅琛之却不同意了,他把她禁锢在身边让她赎罪,两个人都偏执过度。爱情这东西,你来过一下子,我想念一辈子,谁说得清楚
  • 人间鲁迅

    人间鲁迅

    林贤治,诗人,学者。广东阳江人。著有诗集《骆驼和星》、《梦想或忧伤》;散文随笔集《平民的信使》、《旷代的忧伤》;评论集《胡风集团案:20世纪中国的政治事件和精神事件》、《守夜者札记》、《时代与文学的肖像》、《自制的海图》、《午夜的幽光》、《五四之魂》、《纸上的声音》;自选集《娜拉:出走或归来势》、《沉思与反抗》;传记《人间鲁迅》、《鲁迅的最后十年》、《漂泊者萧红》等。主编丛书丛刊多种。
  • 500位世界顶级管理者的成功秘诀

    500位世界顶级管理者的成功秘诀

    本书着重讲述500位世界顶级管理者是如何一步步走向成功的,从全新的角度对他们独特而有效的管理方法进行深层次的分析,帮助读者从他们的成功经历中吸取经验,并获得启迪。
  • 一池秋莲

    一池秋莲

    又名一封情书爱情就像战场总会有牺牲——贺泽民生米不仅可以煮成熟饭还可以煮成稀饭——吴妈看尽三千繁花只相许一池秋莲——枫邵华爱情就像奢侈品真爱是有的只是需要付出代价一步一步的去推敲验证——叶少卿爱情就像有人知道你喜欢旺仔牛奶然而每天都有人给你旺仔牛奶——枫倩倩爱情终究只是感悟一场——程秋莲我们做过最默契的一件事就是我觉得我配不上你刚好你也觉得我配不上你——后
  • 珍藏一生的经典散文(白天不懂夜的黑)

    珍藏一生的经典散文(白天不懂夜的黑)

    “读一部好书,就是和许多高尚的人谈话”一样,读名家名作就是和大师的心灵在晤谈。通过阅读本书,可以让你在轻松愉快的氛围中,开阔文学视野,提高审美意识,触动写作灵感,陶冶思想情操,提升人生品位,徜徉经典,收获无限。一个人在其一生中,阅读一些立意深远、具有丰富哲学思考的散文,不仅可以开阔视野,重新认识历史、社会、人生和自然,获得思想上的盎然新意,而且还可以学习中外散文名家高超而成熟的创作技巧。
  • 彼岸花开灵天著

    彼岸花开灵天著

    他是南海的世子,在冬日的荒山之中捡到她,那日大雪纷飞,她蜷缩在他袖中,温暖之中有淡淡的白莲香。他将她带在身边教养,她慢慢长大,成了一条五千年修行的小蛇仙。她唤他小白,他唤她青儿。她有断续的前世记忆,梦中的人她以为是“心上人”,执着去寻,他陪着她去寻。人世间集齐七块“玲珑镜”碎片,历经七段旷世爱情故事,她终于发现原来一直找寻的从来未曾离开,即便元神不在,只剩下神思,她还是回到了他的身边;而他,就算隔了千世,就算容颜变化,过往不再,依然能在千千万万的人海之中,一眼认得她。
  • 鬼王盛宠

    鬼王盛宠

    一个生前被心爱之人亲手杀死的王牌特工,一朝穿越成了一个臭名昭著的丞相府嫡女,看王牌特工如何登上世间的最高点。原本以为不在会动情的心却被一个病怏怏的王爷给掏了去。
  • 花千骨之东方外传

    花千骨之东方外传

    “呜呜~~~,我这是在哪啊???”花千骨坐起来,她看了看周围,????“我怎么会在这里,我不是被白子画一剑刺死了吗???,这是哪里???他现在如何了???”忽然她听见谈论事情的,她想:为何我还要去想他,既然我已不再爱他,那他的事就与我无关。说着,她便向外走去。
  • 前夫厚爱:老婆快回来

    前夫厚爱:老婆快回来

    女人最幸福的那一刻便是,穿着婚纱踩着公主式高跟鞋,朝自己心爱的男人一步一步走去,随后许下诺言,交换戒指。可是,她的幸福却是建立在痛苦之上!没有恋爱的垫基,直接因为父母的一句话而走进礼堂。没有朋友的祝福,没有亲人的陪伴,所拥用的只有冷冰冰的现场,甚至连牧师都没有。一场如梦般的婚姻,便结束了她自由的人生。我是雅姝,很高兴能为大家带来我的作品。