The tumult of Elizabeth's mind was allayed by this con-versation. She had got rid of two of the secrets which had weighed on her for a fortnight,and was certain of a willing listener in Jane,whenever she might wish to talk again of either.But there was still something lurking behind,of which prudence forbad the disclosure.She dared not relate the other half of Mr.Darcy's letter,nor explain to her sister how sincerely she had been valued by his friend.Here was knowledge in which no one could partake;and she was sensible that nothing less than a perfect understanding between the parties could justify her in throwing off this last incumbrance of mystery.'And then,'said she,'if thatvery improbable event should ever take place,I shall merely be able to tell what Bingley may tell in a much more agreeable manner himself.The liberty of communication cannot be mine till it has lost all its value!'
She was now,on being settled at home,at leisure to observe the real state of her sister's spirits. Jane was not happy.She still cherished a very tender affection for Bingley.Having never even fancied herself in love before,her regard had all the warmth of first attachment,and from her age and disposition,greater steadiness than first attachments often boast;and so fervently did she value his remembrance,and prefer him to every other man,that all her good sense,and all her attention to the feelings of her friends,were requisite to check the indulgence of those regrets,which must have been injurious to her own health and their tranquillity.
'Well,Lizzy,'said Mrs. Bennet one day,'what is your opinion now of this sad business of Jane's?For my part,I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody.I told my sister Philips so the other day.But I cannot find out that Jane saw any thing of him in London.Well,he is a very undeserving young man—and I do not suppose there is the least chance in the world of her ever getting him now.There is no talk of his coming to Netherfield again in the summer;and I have enquired of every body too,who is likely to know.'
'I do not believe that he will ever live at Netherfield any more.
'Oh,well!it is just as he chooses. Nobody wants him to come.Though I shall always say that he used my daughter extremely ill;and if I was her,I would not have put up with it.Well,my comfort is,I am sure Jane will die of a broken heart,and then he will besorry for what he has done.'
But as Elizabeth could not receive comfort from any such expectation,she made no answer.
'Well,Lizzy,'continued her mother soon afterwards,'and so the Collinses live very comfortable,do they?Well,well,I only hope it will last. And what sort of table do they keep?Charlotte is an excellent manager,I dare say.If she is half as sharp as her mother,she is saving enough.There is nothing extravagant in their housekeeping,I dare say.'
'No,nothing at all.'
'A great deal of good management,depend upon it. Yes,yes.They will take care not to outrun their income.They will never be distressed for money.Well,much good may it do them!And so,I suppose,they often talk of having Longbourn when your father is dead.They look upon it quite as their own,I dare say,whenever that happens.'
'It was a subject which they could not mention before me.'
'No. It would have been strange if they had.But I make no doubt,they often talk of it between themselves.Well,if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own,so much the better.I should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me.'
XVIII
T he first week of their return was soon gone. The second began.It was the last of the regiment's stay in Meryton,and all the young ladies in the neighbourhood were drooping apace.The dejection was almost universal.The elder Miss Bennets alone were still able to eat,drink,and sleep,and pursue the usual course of their employments.Very frequently were they reproached for this insensibility by Kitty and Lydia,whose own misery was extreme,and who could not comprehend such hard-heartedness in any of the family.
'Good Heaven!What is to become of us!What are we to do!'would they often exclaim in the bitterness of woe.'How can you be smiling so,Lizzy?'
Their affectionate mother shared all their grief;she remem-bered what she had herself endured on a similar occasion,five and twenty years ago.
'I am sure,'said she,'I cried for two days together when Colonel Millar's regiment went away. I thought I should have broke my heart.'
'I am sure I shall break mine,'said Lydia.
'If one could but go to Brighton!'observed Mrs. Bennet.
'Oh,yes!—if one could but go to Brighton!But papa is so disagreeable.'
'A little sea-bathing would set me up for ever.'
'And my aunt Philips is sure it would do me a great deal of good,'added Kitty.
Such were the kind of lamentations resounding perpetually through Longbourn-house. Elizabeth tried to be diverted by them;but all sense of pleasure was lost in shame.She felt anew the justice of Mr.Darcy's objections;and never had she before been so much disposed to pardon his interference in the views of his friend.
But the gloom of Lydia's prospect was shortly cleared away;for she received an invitation from Mrs. Forster,the wife of the Colonel of the regiment,to accompany her to Brighton.This invaluable friend was a very young woman,and very lately married.A resemblance in good humour and good spirits had recommended her and Lydia to each other,and out of their three months'acquaintance they had been intimate two.
The rapture of Lydia on this occasion,her adoration of Mrs. Forster,the delight of Mrs.Bennet,and the mortification of Kitty,are scarcely to be described.Wholly inattentive to her sister's feelings,Lydia flew about the house in restless ecstasy,calling for every one's congratulations,and laughing and talking with more violence than ever;whilst the luckless Kitty continued in the parlour repining at her fate in terms as unreasonable as her accent was peevish.