人的成长是一个不断尝试、不断经历失误、又不断获得新知的过程。每次，当你信心十足，准备采取行动时，对于会有什么样的结果发生，你无从知晓——或许成功，或许失败。然而，失败并不意味着毫无价值。事实上，我们往往能从失败中学到更多的东西。
假如你犯了一个错误，或是未达到自己所期望的标准，你很可能会在真我与所谓的犯错者之间构筑一道壁垒。然而，对以往的行为全盘否定，势必会让你感到内疚、自责。深陷其中，你就不可能从中汲取有益的东西。因此，过分苛求自己时，最需要的就是自我宽恕。
宽恕就是放下情感上的包袱，抚平心灵上的创伤。它有四种类型：
第一种是对自己的初级宽恕。
第二种是对他人的初级宽恕。
第三种是对自己更深层次的宽恕。这种宽恕是针对自己深感羞愧的极大恶行而言。如果你所做的事有悖于自己的价值观和道德观，这时，你就在自己的为人准则和实际行动间制造了一道裂痕。在这种情况下，你就必须努力悔改，以此来弥补过错，并要重新找到自我。当然，这并不是说你可以随意原谅自己，毫无悔意，但一味地埋怨自己是不健康的，过分的自我惩罚只会让你偏离自己道德准则的轨道越来越远。
第四种可能是最难的一种宽恕——是对他人更深层次的宽恕。生活中，你也许会受到极大的委屈和伤害。以此来看，这似乎是不可原谅的。但是，心怀怨恨、企图报复只会使你陷于受伤害的阴影中。在这种情况下，你就要强迫自己放宽胸怀。只有这样，才能把注意力转移开，不至于一味地沉浸在恼怒和仇恨中。只有做到宽恕，你才能忘却过错，净化心灵。于是，当你最终使自己解脱出来时，很自然地，你就会把它看成是成长过程中必不可少的一部分。
experimentation [ik,sperimen'tein] n. 实验；试验；实验法
After years of experimentation they finally hit pay dirt.
他们经过数年的试验，终于成功了。
disillusion [,disi'lju:n] v. 使醒悟；使不再抱幻想
She still believe in santa claus and it will is cruel to disillusion her.
她仍然相信有圣诞老人，要是使她的这一幻想破灭就于心不忍了。
chasm ['k鎧m] n. 裂口；深坑；分歧
The couple failed to bridge the chasm between them.
这对夫妇未能跨越他们之间的鸿沟。
remorse [ri'm:s] n. 懊悔；同情
The prisoner shows no remorse for his crimes.
那个囚犯对其罪行毫无悔改之意。
人的成长是一个不断尝试、不断经历失误、又不断获得新知的过程。
宽恕就是放下情感上的包袱，抚平心灵上的创伤。
只有做到宽恕，你才能忘却过错，净化心灵。
Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action.
take action：采取行动；提出诉讼；开始起作用
But wallowing in these feelings for a protracted period of time is not healthy.
a period of time：一段时间
打开成功之门的钥匙
Your Key to Certain Success
佚名 / Anonymous
One of the most important attributes an individual can have is confidence. Confidence is invaluable in every area of life, but in business or in achieving any degree of greatness, it is absolutely essential. Unfortunately, there are few places we can go to learn this essential skill. Yet, it is a skill and, as such, can be developed with the right tools.
The first tool for gaining confidence is knowledge. Knowledge of your own strengths and limitations, and knowledge of the arena in which you wish to excel. But knowledge alone isn't enough. Knowledge leads to confidence only when it is validated by experience. We test the validity of what we think or believe by putting the theory into actual practice and gathering data or feedback from the experience. If the feedback is positive, we assume our theories are correct and act accordingly. If the feedback is negative, the bold among us will adjust our course, while the more timid often allow the negative feedback to stop them cold.
Confidence can be gained by knowing, understanding and correctly applying the following formulas and factors:
(1) Knowledge + Experience + Positive Feedback = Confidence.
(2) Positive feedback comes from successful outcomes.
(3) Successful outcomes are the result of consistent practice and repeated attempts.
(4) Repeated attempts are possible only when we believe we will eventually succeed.
The formula seems to say that we must believe in our ability to succeed before we have experienced any semblance of success, and that is true. That's where the knowledge part of the confidence formula comes in, and why it is the first equation in the formula. Before we can believe we will succeed without ever having made an attempt, we must have some knowledge as to what success entails and what strengths and abilities we bring to the mix. We must also know the truth about "failure".
Failure is not the result of attempting to achieve a goal and falling short of the mark. Failure occurs when we allow falling short of the mark to cause us to quit trying. Actually, there are only two ways to fail. (1) Give up before you reach a goal you really want or (2) continue on a path that is wrong for you because you made a wrong choice initially and believe the erroneous choice is the one you must stay with.
Suppose, for example, you got into your car intending to meet a friend at an unfamiliar location. You get turned around on the way there and get lost.
In failure formula number one you discover you are lost and attempt to correct your course. However, you are too far off course for just one correction to get you back on track, so you make another correction and another one. After three or four corrections you decide you will never be able to find your way, so you give up, park your car, and never reach your destination.
In failure formula number two you decide that even though you made a wrong turn, you must stick with it because to make a new choice would mean you failed when you made the original decision that got you lost. So you continue down the wrong road, knowing it's wrong, but refusing to make an alteration because you've already made a choice, however wrong it may be.
Both scenarios sound pretty absurd in that context, but the world is full of people who give up and quit before reaching their goal, and who stay with bad choices long after they have discovered they are bad.
To ensure success you must be willing to alter your course and keep altering it, and to try again and again, as many times as it takes, to reach your destination. Whether you reach it or not will depend on your belief in your ability to eventually arrive, and that brings us back to the confidence formula.
The faith to keep trying ultimately comes from knowing yourself and your abilities, and knowing how to use them most effectively. In the hustle-bustle of today's world, we sometimes forget to take a thorough look at our most valuable asset—ourselves. Only with self-awareness and understanding can we come to believe in our ability to find the right solution and to arrive at our goals.
